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Posted by Tiny on 10/6/2003, 11:30 am, in reply to "feeling sick" --Previous Message--
208.144.19.66
Maybe it's just gas.
: in the morning i feel a little sick. hungover
: maybe. strung out. stretched too thin by
: years and years of trying too hard. too hard
: too please. too hard to know. too hard to
: smile. whatever. at least i'm feeling
: something. this particular morning i'm
: feeling sorry for myself because something
: good was taken away from me and i miss it. i
: hate that people i know
: - friends of mine - are having a hard time,
: but #### them; what about me? did they ever
: think how this might affect me? what am i
: supposed to do now? ####. i hate that i'm
: such a self involved prick. but maybe i'll
: get a radio interview. maybe that will make
: me feel better about myself. maybe that will
: allow me to live in the illusion that i might
: "make it" a little longer. what
: does that even mean? i don't know anymore. it
: used to mean lots of money, lots of success,
: and lots of vodka. now i'm just happy if i
: get through the day without cutting up my arm
: with my mom's big kitchen knife. if i can get
: from morning to bedtime without cutting
: myself while i watch in the mirror, that's
: making it now. jesus. anyway, i hope my
: friends are doing okay. i hope they can
: somehow find a way through. life is so
: ####ing short and so ####ing brutal and so
: ####ing hard for so many people...forget what
: i said. i don't care about how it affects me.
: i really do hope you all can get through it.
: i have to go shower now.
:
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