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Posted by MOSES on 1/29/2004, 4:48 pm LAST WEEK: There wasnt a last week. We took the ball, but didnt score
. ( ring
..ring
..Matt Hasselbeck ??? Matt Hasselbeck??? Please pick up the white courtesy phone
.) Well, here we are. Seventeen weeks of speculation whittled 32 hopeful NFL teams down to 12. Then, 3 more weeks of hopes and dreams crashing to an end as reality set in for 10 more NFL franchises leaving two teams to battle for football supremacy under the Lone Star skylights of Houston
. CUE THE COOL NFL BACKGROUND MUSIC!!!!! CUE THE BOOMING FROZEN TUNDRA VOICE OF NFL DOOM!!! ( ring
..ring
.. Steve Sabol??? Steve Sabol??? Please pick up the white courtesy phone
.) BUT
.. I digress
SUPER BOWL XXVIII is upon us, and the city of Houston, Texas is about to put on one BIG SHOW!!! All eyes this Sunday focus on this place Houston. Or, as General Zod once said: So this is planet Houston
( ring
..ring
.. Superman II??? Superman II??? Please pick up the white courtesy phone
.) But, all obscure referencing aside, this game is going to be a Smackdown of MAJOR PROPORTIONS
( ring
..ring
.. WWE??? WWE??? Please pick up the white courtesy phone
.) Both teams come into the Super Bowl knocking teams out of their paths with reckless abandonment
First, from the AFC comes the New England Patriots
The Patriots have come a LONG WAY from opening day where they were COMPLETELY EMBARRASSED by the Buffalo Bills and their ex-teammate Lawyer Milloy 31-0. They went on from that game to win an AMAZING 16 out of their next 17 games
.. Wow
. Talk about a fear of losing! Their offense is only 17th in the NFL , but it is headed by the quarterback/model Tom Brady (or so my wife tells me
) who has been efficient and VERY underrated. Defensively, all the Patriots did was set an NFL RECORD for lowest points against at home and finish a stingy 7th in the NFL overall with a blue collar work ethic as American and Patriotic as hot apple pie itself! ( ring
..ring
.. Jason Biggs??? Jason Biggs??? Please pick up the white courtesy phone
.) This defense is so tough against the run, the biggest defensive dent seems to be against the pass. But dont tell that to Peyton Manning because he fought Ty Law and Ty Law WON! ( ring
..ring
.. Bobby Fuller Four??? Bobby Fuller Four??? Please pick up the white courtesy phone
.) Naturally, the Patriot fans feel pretty good about being Patriot fans. And why not? Rooting for a team whose mascot represents American bravado is a pretty cool gig. I am sure that Patriot fans feel that they have a lot to crow about, but I would like to help them out with this weeks top three. So, here from our office in BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS comes
.. (drum roll)
. THE TOP THREE REASONS WHY IT IS BETTER TO BE A PATRIOT FAN INSTEAD OF A PANTHER FAN 3. PATRIOT FANS CELEBRATE VICTORY WITH A FROSTY MUG OF BEER AT THE LOCAL WATERING HOLE RESEMBLING CHEERS. Panther fans celebrate victory with an old tin can filled with pappys moonshine in a dive that resembles the bar from Road House. 2. PATRIOT FAN PERFECT DATE: BOSTON POPS AND LOBSTER. Panther fan perfect date: Hank Williams, Jr. and roadkill pizza. 1.PATRIOT FANS LIKE TO PLAY IN THE SNOW. Panther fans like to play in the traffic. BUT
.. The NFC is represented by the Carolina Panthers, a team I doubt many thought would even make the PLAYOFFS at the start of this year. The Panther offense, although on paper is a harmless 16th overall, boasts a very efficient Jake Delhomme at quarterback and an offensive line who doesnt seem to care who runs behind them. Pro Bowler Stephen Davis, former high draft pick DeShaun Foster, even Rod HE HATE ME Smart has looked like a hall of famer behind this O line! Smart may have to change his nickname to HE HATE MY O LINE! But like their AFC counterparts, they also have a defense that sends chills down the spines of many a quarterback. This team was built around a tenacious suffocating defense that placed 8th overall in the NFL. Also like their counterparts, this defensive liability on paper seems to be against the pass. But these games are not played on paper. They are played by the warriors who have stood the test of a battle ridden season and thirsted for more to quench their empty football souls
HEY!!! CUE THE COOL NFL BACKGROUND MUSIC AGAIN!!!!! CUE THE BOOMING FROZEN TUNDRA VOICE OF NFL DOOM!!! Sorry
got caught up in the moment. The Panther fans also feel that they have a good reason to feel a bit superior to their AFC fan counterparts. I have also given them a top three to enjoy
THE TOP THREE REASONS WHY IT IS BETTER TO BE A PANTHER FAN INSTEAD OF A PATRIOT FAN 3. THE TOWN NAME OF CHARLOTTE ADOPTED BY GENTLE PIG SAVING SPIDER IN CHILDREN;S BOOK BY E.B. WHITE CHARLOTTLES WEB. Bostons name adopted by cheesy over the top hair band of the 1970s. 2. PANTHERS PLAY IN ERICSSON STADIUM, A NAME SYNONYMOUS WITH CUTTING EDGE TECHNOLOGY. Patriots play in Gillette Stadium, a name synonymous with razor burn. 1. CHARLOTTE IS THE UNOFFICIAL HOME OF NASCAR. Boston is the unofficial home of the Kennedys. THE TOP THREE STRANGE SIMILARITIES BETWEEN THE PANTHERS AND THE PATRIOTS 3. PANTHERS LOGO LOOKS LIKE IT WAS TAKEN FROM THE 80s. THE BIGGEST BOY BAND OF THE 80S WAS NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK WHO WERE
FROM BOSTON! 2. PATRIOT QUARTERBACK SHARES HIS LAST NAME WITH A SITCOM FROM THE 70S. PANTHER HEAD COACH SHARES HIS LAST NAME WITH A TELEVISION NETWORK THAT AIRS
THAT 70S SHOW! 1. PEOPLE FROM BOSTON HAVE FUNNY ACCENTS
PEOPLE FROM CHARLOTTE
HAVE
FUNNY ACCENTS! 1. STEPHEN DAVIS: Has carried this team on HEAVY shoulders. Can he do it for one more game? THREE PLAYERS TO WATCH FOR THE PATRIOTS: 1. TOM BRADY: I know my WIFE will be watching him! SO, CAN uh
.. EITHER TEAM DO IT????? MOSES PREDICTS: NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS 24 SO LET IT BE WRITTEN, SO LET IT BE DONE!!!!! MOSES
HAIL TO THEE, O SEAHAWK FANS!!!!! IT IS I, MOSES, HERE TO PREDICT THE SUPER BOWL !!!!!!
Oh yeah. They also happen to sport this years very deserving NFL head coach of the year in Bill Belichek.
So, here from our office in CHARLOTTE, NORTH CAROLINA comes
.. (drum roll)
.
.
Although I kid the two teams, I wish them both the very best Sunday. And to kind of bridge the gap between the two adversaries, I would like to offer a top three that shows that they really arent that different
So, here from our office SOMEWHERE IN THE MIDDLE OF CHARLOTTE AND BOSTON comes
.. (drum roll)
.
THREE PLAYERS TO WATCH FOR THE PANTHERS:
2. JAKE DELHOMME: A long way from those quiet Cajun Sunday evenings!
3. STEVE SMITH: Is he the best kept secret in football?
2. ANTWAIN SMITH: Needs to run just well enough to force Carolina to think about him.
3. ADAM VINATEIRI: Once a Super Bowl hero, ALWAYS a Super Bowl hero?
CAROLINA PANTHERS 13
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