Posted by kp'r on 8/20/2004, 11:51 am, in reply to "advice "
Hey Jess-
Sometimes there is a kind of survivor's guilt that goes along with receiving a kidney from a person who has died. I thought i had dealt with that issue well, but when I received a letter from my donor's mom, it really hit home. It sounds like your husband may be going through some (very normal) post-transplant depression. This can be aggravated by steroids, if he's on any. Maybe it would help if you reminded him that this donor had already died, and the family made the decision to donate based on their desire to help people. It's odd, but in a way sometimes recipients feel like if they hadn't needed the organ, the donor wouldn't have died. It's very irrational, but i've heard it from a few others. The best thing he can do to fufill that family's wishes is to make the most of his second chance, and live a healthy life.
About him not feeling like the same person, it's not uncommon to feel like you've developed certain tastes or habits after the transplant that maybe came from your donor. Sounds hokey, but it's true. For me, I LOVED diet coke before my surgery. Was a true addict...and now I just don't care for it. I actually love fruit punch powerade, which I never liked before. Little changes like that can make you feel like your new organ(s) are affecting who you are. I don't know if that helps at all. Look up the NKF site for another good discussion board (kidney.org), although they recently reformatted, so there aren't too many posts yet. Good luck with everything.
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