Disney has got to be the single most schizophrenic cartoon company of all time. One minute they are producing the awesomeness that is “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow,” and the next they are producing “Bongo”; even in the same movie, they have that vapid blonde, Aurora, dancing with owls and squirrels, and the next minute they have my hero Prince Philip fighting one of the coolest villains of all time, Maleficent, who has changed into a strong contender for Coolest Dragon ever in film. I frankly would love to have seen what the Disney artists would have done with the characters of Dungeons & Dragons, but I cringe to think what the Disney corporate lawyers might have imposed in the way of moral hedges (“Eric, I know Rahmoud seems pretty wonderful, but in the end, you’ll find that your own father really loves you!” “Myyyeahhh!” *HURL*).
Wow, this sounds like a cue to revive the...
10. Each episode begins with the opening of the AD&D Player’s Handbook.
9. Fade-to-black scene leaving only Shadow Demon’s glowing eyes at least once per episode.
8. Diana has a big Act One song about longing for this or that.
7. Bobby cooks for the Young Ones aided by friendly mice, birds, and squirrels.
6. “D&D Part Two: Eric’s Adventure” is released directly to video and bombs.
5. Dungeon Master is voiced by Patrick Warburton.
4. Venger is driven crazy by comic antics of funny Orcs and Bullywugs.
3. Instead of starting his spells “Abraca-,” Presto says “Bibidi-.”
2. The series ends with a big Hank and Sheila wedding.
and the Number One change if Disney had done D&D:
1. More Uni!
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