Grief Support Board
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Re: Trying to function....hanging in and hanging on..
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I don't know the circumstances of Payten, but it sounds like what I went through, perhaps under similar circumstances. My mother was a victim of a homicide in 1999 and the trial didn't start for about two years later. There were many courts dates that were formalities of the law leading up to the trail date and I attended each and everyone of them. It is really hard especially when you have the press wanted a statement. I told them to just leave me alone. The first judge was extremely liberal and I thought any moment she was going to get down from the bench and kiss my mother's killer. She was an awful judge. Fortunate for me, she was promoted within the system to a higher court and I subsequently got a real judge who knew his stuff. It is really important as to the judge you get as if affects the family so much. I hope you get a great judge. It will not be easy to get through all this. I had a hard time. However, time is a healer. You will never ever get over it. I today, can't watch murder mysteries, or violence on TV. It just makes my skin crawl. I wish you the best in all of this Vernie. Keeping busy is probably the best solution, so you don't have time to think about all of it. This site helped me keep busy and I in turn helped others.
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