Posted by janny on February 27, 2009, 9:53 am, in reply to "Disconcerted grief"
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Hope... I'm so sorry you're going through the pain and guilt of not feeling much when Bud died. But love needs to be earned and sometimes these relatives never really put the time in to earn our love. They never invested in us and we, marching along in our own lives, never really connected with them.
I also think about myself... when I was miserable and a misery with fibromyalgia the whole world abandoned me... I wasn't a pleasant person to be around and I just wasn't putting the time and effort into being a part of the greater whole. Since then I haven't felt guilt (except with my mom hahaha) when I drop away from people who are difficult. No guilt.
Its harsh, it really is. But if we cant work to be the best of ourselves and if we don't expect the best from others, the whole social order will fall into the sewer.
Bud was arrogant and this cost your aunt a painful death. Did he ever change this defect? No? Well, what's to grieve over?
Sorry if this is too harsh... I know for everything there is a season... but for some people that season goes on and on and on. And like you were talking about the other day... we are never obliged to take part in their play. Maybe even get out of the audience?
Love Janny (who had nails for breakfast)
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