Posted by Madonna on February 23, 2009, 8:09 am, in reply to "Disconcerted grief"
98.204.152.164
Wow....what a terrible tragedy, Hope. 
I'm sorry for your grief...disconcerted or not...and please don't compare it to mine...all grief hurts.
I've also been in a situation where I had to either forgive the transgressor or let my resentment/anger eat at me indefinitely. Forgiveness is hard...very hard sometimes...but doing it is a release. I realized that no matter how much pain and hurt I experienced at that person's hands, it cannot compare to the guilt and self-recrimination he will feel for the rest of his life.
Don't feel guilt for what you're feeling now...it's justified. You're sad but mad as hell that Bud never took responsibility for what he did to your aunt. I'd feel exactly the same way. 
The only silver lining I see in this is that your aunt's death was accidental...certainly not deliberate.
Your feelings are your feelings...no matter what they are, they're legitimate. Don't beat yourself up over them, hon...accept them for what they are, and move on as you've decided to do. We don't always react to situations as we think we should...we are, after all, human.
((((Hope))))
Responses: