Posted by Jeff on February 22, 2009, 8:13 pm, in reply to "Disconcerted grief"
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It's hard to forgive someone when they refuse to accept responsibility for their own mistakes. And sometimes even when they do. I should know, because I've spent half a lifetime trying to make up for some mistakes I made almost 20 years ago. Some people can forgive and forget; others can forgive but never quite forget; and some can neither forgive nor forget. It's human nature, I guess. When something (or someone) is taken from us wrongly, it's completely human to hold on to the anger and resentment that result. It's completely human, but it's also completely self destructive. Carrying around all that anger will eat away at you - just like you said. It will tear you apart from the inside if you allow it to. So don't. Let it go. You don't have to forgive and forget, but at least allow yourself to move past it all. That doesn't mean you have to mourn his death, of course. Apathy is always an option. You know that your Aunt's death was an accident, and even though he never accepted responsibility for it, you know it wasn't his intent. And now he's gone, so any negative feelings you had toward him can go with him. All of us are here in this world for such a short time, relatively speaking, and it's a shame to waste any of that precious time being angry at someone else.
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