Posted by Jeff on October 18, 2008, 7:39 am, in reply to "Re: Wow, the unexpected is always so hard. :("
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Michelle, please please don't feel guilty about taking that trip with your mom. She had a decision to make and she made it - and it was her decision. Maybe chemo would have made a difference, or maybe it wouldn't have, but she chose instead to spend her time with her loved ones. That was the right decision for her at the time, so there is nothing for you to feel guilty about. Guilt is the worst possible emotion for you to be feeling right now - believe me, I've been there. I spent a lot of time feeling guilty about things I should have done, and wishing I could have done more to convince Jill to try that one last treatment option. There were so many things I wished I had done for her that I didn't think of until it was too late, and things I wanted to do for her but couldn't, and I spent many sleepless nights going over all those things in my head. But you know what I discovered? All that guilt doesn't do you any good. It won't bring her back, and it won't ease your pain, it just makes you feel worse. Your mom wouldn't want that for you. You don't want that for you. I don't want that for you either, because I know what a dark and lonely place guilt can take you to. Don't go there.
I'm so sorry for your loss. All the best to you and your family.
Jeff
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