Posted by WB/JC on August 12, 2009, 4:45 pm, in reply to "This is Long-forgive me Pondies."
70.6.195.81
Deb, my darling, first off, you don't have to apologize to anyone here on the Pond for anything you say or do here. That's the good thing about this place, we ALL understand what you're going through to one extent or another.
About your mother, my mother-in-law always used to say wicked mean things to me AND my daughter. I was able to suck it up and reason it out to my daughter. One thing you might try is asking your mother, when she says something mean is "Mother, why are your saying something that mean to me?" or "Why are you trying to hurt my feelings?" Try to make her aware that she's hurt you. Get her to come up with a reason for being mean or at least let her know that you recognize that she might have hurt your feelings.
About how to let things go, I don't think you need to "let go" of the things your mom says, I think you need to confront her and let her know that her negativity brings you down and hurts you, I mean it actually causes you pain in the form of stress.
Babe, you are too good a person to have to deal with being made to feel so unworthy.
I want you to read that again, you are too good a person to have to deal with being made to feel so unworthy.
No one deserves that, especially not you. You are such a good person, my friend. You have a beautiful heart and I don't want you to think otherwise.
Please know that I love you and that you have my prayers every day. I'll expecially pray you can speak up to your mother and just tell her how she makes you feel when she says cruel things to you.
Shame on her, not on you!!
--Previous Message--
: First off I want to say how much I
: Appreciate all the help and advice and
: support you've given me over the years.
: You are such a life line to me, I don't
: know how I'd be without ALL OF YOU
: HERE!!
: Today I went to see a 'shrink,' Yup
: Again!! Over the years I've gone to see
: a few from time to time. I Have to tell
: you though,, today I didn't feel a
: connection AT ALL from the start with
: this guy,,, All that came to my mind
: and heart was YOU & HOW MUCH YOU'VE
: SUPPORTED ME, as I sat there in that
: office. I felt like I needed to be here
: where I belong, not trying to start
: from the begining, (yet again) for some
: stranger to pick on subjects that
: appealed to him and could possibly keep
: me coming back for months on end. Not
: much regard expressed about the Pain,
: which sent a red flag up to me right
: away. Next he asked me "what I
: thought was wrong with my older brother
: because he doesn't have any thing to do
: with the rest of the family, what did I
: feel he had, depression or what?"
: I said, "I feel this is his choice
: in his life an it works for him. He's
: in his early 60's now and has been this
: way since he was in high school."
: (Just so you know, I wasn't going there
: for any thing to do with my brother,
: Period.) I went because I'm having
: feelings of depression going deeper,
: and why I get bogged down with some
: issues that aren't My Fault. I don't
: seem to shake things off very good some
: times. Example, My mother, she's 85 I'm
: Very greatful to have her still able to
: live by herself,drive etc. However, she
: is SO NEGATIVE and Controling with me I
: am on the edge at times. I love her to
: pieces, but she is not a person most
: people wish to be around because she
: says hurtful mean things at times, and
: can be down right mean. O God forgive
: me Please for writting all this.
: Now,, will some one on here PLEASE
: tell me what you feel or think about
: what I've written here. I realize my
: story has more holes than 'swiss
: cheese,,,' still I feel strung out and
: hanging by a thread with reality on one
: hand, Yet, that I Already KNOW WHAT THE
: PROBLEM IS,, I'M LOOKING FOR ADVICE ON
: HOW TO LEARN TO JUST LET IT GO, BETTER.
: I'm so sorry for whining on so long
: here, I just need you I guess. Forgive
: me. In my prayers and heart, deb
:
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