Posted by Beth on August 6, 2009, 2:46 pm, in reply to "This is Long-forgive me Pondies."
68.44.101.104
I've had some experiences with shrinks over the years, too. My daughter needs to see one on a regular basis for meds for her bipolar. When she was younger it was for ADHD. We had the same experiences as you did. The want to pick and choose what the want to talk about even if it has nothing to do with why you have come in the first place. We've both been to therapist after therapist trying to find one who 'clicks'. Most weren't much help. I finally found one that I see every month or so who understands my and my situation and I know why. He himself had polio as a child and has post polio syndrome, his wife has CFS, and he has 2 children with disabilities. I think most shrinks and therapists have a lot of text book knowledge but haven't lived the experiences we have. Even my lawyer understands since his wife has chronic pain from RSD. I guess what I'm trying to say is that unless these professionals have personal experience with chronic pain and illness they don't have a clue how we feel.
And getting bogged down with things that aren't your fault--I get that too. I have an 87 year old mother in assisted living who has never thought anything I did was good enough. I love her very much but at times it's hard to go to see her because of her attitude. Now that I an taking care of most of the bills and banking and doctor visits it's difficult, like you say, to be around her a lot of the time. I won't even go into how my ex treats me. I wish I knew how to let go and stop feeling guilty and hurt over things that are not my fault. You and I both know that's what we have to do for our own mental and physical health but I think it's gone on for so long that we don't know how to stop letting them push our buttons. You asked what we think about what you have written and I see that you and I have a lot more in common than I ever thought we did. I wonder if that's true of the rest of the Pondies and if that's part of the 'glue' that's held us together for so many years. Thanks for posting what you did; it made me think about my own life and how I need to find a way to make some changes in it.
Hugs,
Beth
--Previous Message--
: First off I want to say how much I
: Appreciate all the help and advice and
: support you've given me over the years.
: You are such a life line to me, I don't
: know how I'd be without ALL OF YOU
: HERE!!
: Today I went to see a 'shrink,' Yup
: Again!! Over the years I've gone to see
: a few from time to time. I Have to tell
: you though,, today I didn't feel a
: connection AT ALL from the start with
: this guy,,, All that came to my mind
: and heart was YOU & HOW MUCH YOU'VE
: SUPPORTED ME, as I sat there in that
: office. I felt like I needed to be here
: where I belong, not trying to start
: from the begining, (yet again) for some
: stranger to pick on subjects that
: appealed to him and could possibly keep
: me coming back for months on end. Not
: much regard expressed about the Pain,
: which sent a red flag up to me right
: away. Next he asked me "what I
: thought was wrong with my older brother
: because he doesn't have any thing to do
: with the rest of the family, what did I
: feel he had, depression or what?"
: I said, "I feel this is his choice
: in his life an it works for him. He's
: in his early 60's now and has been this
: way since he was in high school."
: (Just so you know, I wasn't going there
: for any thing to do with my brother,
: Period.) I went because I'm having
: feelings of depression going deeper,
: and why I get bogged down with some
: issues that aren't My Fault. I don't
: seem to shake things off very good some
: times. Example, My mother, she's 85 I'm
: Very greatful to have her still able to
: live by herself,drive etc. However, she
: is SO NEGATIVE and Controling with me I
: am on the edge at times. I love her to
: pieces, but she is not a person most
: people wish to be around because she
: says hurtful mean things at times, and
: can be down right mean. O God forgive
: me Please for writting all this.
: Now,, will some one on here PLEASE
: tell me what you feel or think about
: what I've written here. I realize my
: story has more holes than 'swiss
: cheese,,,' still I feel strung out and
: hanging by a thread with reality on one
: hand, Yet, that I Already KNOW WHAT THE
: PROBLEM IS,, I'M LOOKING FOR ADVICE ON
: HOW TO LEARN TO JUST LET IT GO, BETTER.
: I'm so sorry for whining on so long
: here, I just need you I guess. Forgive
: me. In my prayers and heart, deb
:
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