Posted by Deb on July 31, 2009, 4:53 pm
71.127.10.84
First off I want to say how much I Appreciate all the help and advice and support you've given me over the years. You are such a life line to me, I don't know how I'd be without ALL OF YOU HERE!!
Today I went to see a 'shrink,' Yup Again!! Over the years I've gone to see a few from time to time. I Have to tell you though,, today I didn't feel a connection AT ALL from the start with this guy,,, All that came to my mind and heart was YOU & HOW MUCH YOU'VE SUPPORTED ME, as I sat there in that office. I felt like I needed to be here where I belong, not trying to start from the begining, (yet again) for some stranger to pick on subjects that appealed to him and could possibly keep me coming back for months on end. Not much regard expressed about the Pain, which sent a red flag up to me right away. Next he asked me "what I thought was wrong with my older brother because he doesn't have any thing to do with the rest of the family, what did I feel he had, depression or what?" I said, "I feel this is his choice in his life an it works for him. He's in his early 60's now and has been this way since he was in high school." (Just so you know, I wasn't going there for any thing to do with my brother, Period.) I went because I'm having feelings of depression going deeper, and why I get bogged down with some issues that aren't My Fault. I don't seem to shake things off very good some times. Example, My mother, she's 85 I'm Very greatful to have her still able to live by herself,drive etc. However, she is SO NEGATIVE and Controling with me I am on the edge at times. I love her to pieces, but she is not a person most people wish to be around because she says hurtful mean things at times, and can be down right mean. O God forgive me Please for writting all this.
Now,, will some one on here PLEASE tell me what you feel or think about what I've written here. I realize my story has more holes than 'swiss cheese,,,' still I feel strung out and hanging by a thread with reality on one hand, Yet, that I Already KNOW WHAT THE PROBLEM IS,, I'M LOOKING FOR ADVICE ON HOW TO LEARN TO JUST LET IT GO, BETTER. I'm so sorry for whining on so long here, I just need you I guess. Forgive me. In my prayers and heart, deb
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