Posted by Katherine --Previous Message--
on June 8, 2005, 5:56 pm, in reply to "typical relationship problems"
I'm sorry that you have to go through a hard time for doing what's right. Sex is powerful, and I find it very hard to keep my promise to stay a virgin until I'm married because I already know I'm going to marry the guy I've been dating for two years. There needs to be some intimacy, but don't ever do something just because the guy wants you to. You can cuddle, hold hands, tell him everything from what you did when you were three to why you like a certain style of shoes to what you think about politics, and it all brings you closer to him without ever going beyond your comfort level. On the other hand, when you find the right guy, be willing to slowly stretch that comfort zone -- everything is a little scary the first time you try it, but with someone you love and trust, you grow to enjoy more than just his company. No matter what happens (cliche as this is) make sure you communicate very openly. Tell him that you don't want to get overly physical and explain that you love spending time with him, and you respect how he feels so you'll try to work something out. As for the guys that really do just want to get into your pants, pass and let them go on to a girl who doesn't care about her dignity.
: Ok, there's this guy that I went out with for
: a really long time. He was everything I
: ever wanted in a guy.
: I'm a "virgin mary", as my friends
: have called it. I had never kissed anyone
: before him and even then I only gave him the
: small kisses. Nothing big and extravagant
: (no open mouth). He said he was fine with
: it and that he'd wait. But I could tell he
: really wanted to go further. I wanted to
: make him happy but I just couldn't bring
: myself to do it.
: That's why they call me the virgin mary.
: I'm not even religious!
: Anyways, he broke up with me and it really
: hurt cuz I loved him a lot. I know people
: my age "don't know what love is"
: but this was about as close as someone my
: age can come.
: There were all kinds rumors going around
: about why he did it. Not big public ones
: like what you see on TV, but rrumors between
: friends and whatnot. He broke up to go out
: with my friend (like they always do), he
: wanted to go further, he used me then got
: sick of me... blah blah.
: Quite frankly, after thinking it over for a
: while, I figured he was just trying to get
: in my pants. I know that's the "only
: thing on teenage boys' minds" and
: all...but it just. I dunno. I keep
: thinking that he really did love me but he
: just needed more and maybe I should of gone
: further?
:
:
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