[ Speak your mind! | Shelly's Fan Fic Space! ]
Posted by Shelly on 11/7/2009, 8:58 pm
68.192.35.210
Just a note: I have nothing against the straightedge lifestyle, but Punk annoys me at times with his holier than thou crap so I couldn't resist poking fun.
“I’m gonna miss you tonight,” Cody said kissing Justine softly.
“You’ll see her tomorrow, Cody,” Batista chuckled. Jack just rolled his eyes at his future brother-in-law.
Melina and the rest of the girls rolled their eyes as they waited for the couple to separate. It was time for the bachelor and bachelorette parties and they’d been waiting for the couple to stop cooing at each other for nearly a half hour. Across the way the guys were rolling their eyes at the couple as well.
“Do you think we could party our asses off BEFORE you two get married,” Jack growled. “Jesus! It’s one night apart.”
The couple seemed oblivious to their friends’ pleas. A collective groan went up from the awaiting crowd as Justine and Cody exchanged more words.
“That’s it,” Beth Phoenix exclaimed. “Come on, love birds. Break it up!” She grabbed Justine’s hand and yanked her away from her fiancé. The two separated with an audible smacking of lips.
“Gross,” Jack groaned. “Come on, Romeo. We got hot strippers to ogle.”
“You promised no strippers,” Justine called as Jack dragged Cody away.
“Like you won’t have any at your party,” Randy snorted as he followed the group of men out, shoving Cody ahead of them.
“Sorry, babe,” Cody called. “If it makes you feel any better I won’t enjoy it!”
“LIAR,” all the men crowed and then laughed as they exited the hotel lobby.
“I’m starting to think maybe a joint party would have been better,” Justine frowned.
“Are you kidding me,” Mickie snorted. “What fun would that be?”
“Come on, Jus. Let’s get our drink on and then watch some nekkid men shake their asses,” Melina chuckled. Justine groaned as she was dragged out of the hotel lobby by her friends.
“I can not believe you talked me into doing this,” London sighed as he checked himself over in the mirror. “Justine is going to kill the both of us and if she doesn’t Cody will.”
“Would you stop being such a pussy and fix your damn moustache,” Kendrick replied as he pulled the black wig over his mop of blonde curls.
“Dude, do you really think this is the way to win Justine back,” London asked. “She’s marrying Cody in two day, Bri. Why can’t you just admit defeat with what little dignity you have left?”
“Paul, I’m just giving Jus some food for thought,” Brian replied as he expertly applied his fake goatee and moustache.
London groaned looking at himself and his friend in the mirror. “Jesus, Bri! We look like rejects from a bad porno!”
Kendrick smiled wide. “I know. Isn’t it cool?” London simply groaned and followed his friend to what he was sure was his imminent death.
“Ladies, settle down now,” the DJ at the strip club called to the bachelorette party. “We have a special treat for Justine Sharp, who sadly will be getting hitched in a couple of days. Get ready for Officer McNasty and his partner Detective Jack Hammer!”
The ladies squealed as the men made their way onto the stage. They took their places and waited for the pounding beats of the music to start. Melina was the first one up by the stage waving her dollar bills. Justine hung back watching as the two men gyrated on the stage. Something about them seemed so familiar.
“What’s the matter,” Mickie asked. “Aren’t you having fun, Jus?”
“I am…I just…something’s not right about those strippers,” Justine replied.
“I know! Aren’t male strippers supposed to be big buff guys,” Beth asked.
“Who cares,” Melina called, pulling Justine over to the stage. “The bride-to-be gets a free lap dance!”
“Oh no…that’s…I’ll pass…” Justine grunted as Melina shoved a chair under her forcing her to sit. Officer McNasty was fast approaching her, a smile on his face. “No…really…maybe Mickie would like to take my place…I…really…”
“Just relax and enjoy it, Jus,” Maria giggled as she sipped on her fruity drink, playing with the umbrella and straw in it. It was only her second, but anyone with eyes could see she was already tipsy.
Justine was dragged over to a chair and forced to sit. Beth held her in place, much to her chagrin. Office McNasty made his way over to her, a wide smile on his face. She groaned and tried to escape as he stepped up to her, thrusting his crotch in her face.
“Isn’t this great,” Jack shouted over the blaring music to the Undertaker and Kane, who were sitting at the bar. He chugged his second beer, smiling at the older men. This wasn’t quite their scene, but they weren’t going to pass up the chance for some free drinks and a party.
Most of the roster had shown up to the bachelor party. Considering Triple H, Ted, Batista, Jack and Shawn had rented out the strip club for the evening and there was an open bar everyone was quite eager to party.
“The music sucks, but the ladies are hot as hell,” Kane smiled. “And I know hot.”
“Lame,” Jack made a face, but laughed. “And a little bit creepy.”
“Let me get a Pepsi on the rocks,” Punk yelled to the bartender.
Jack exchanged looks with ‘Taker and Kane before all three snorted.
“Punk? Really? Pepsi,” Jack asked.
“What part of straightedge don’t you get,” Punk sighed.
“The whole no drinking thing,” Kane replied. “I mean more power to ya if you can resist drugs, but everyone has a drink once in a while.”
“Not me, gentlemen,” Punk replied accepting the glass of Pepsi from the bartender. Before he could bring it to his lips Jack had snatched it and handed it back to the bartender. “Jack, what the f*ck?”
“Give him a shot of your best rum, my good man,” Jack said. The bartender nodded, pulling the bottle off the shelf behind him. Punk tried to protest, but Jack held his mouth shut with his thumb and forefinger. The bartender had poured the shot before Punk could get free.
“There ya go, man! That’s sure to put hair on your chest,” Jack said handing the drink to Punk.
“I can’t drink that! I’m straightmuph!” Undertaker had reached out and grabbed Punk by the shirt collar, essentially cutting off the tirade before it even started.
“Stop with the holier than thou shit and drink your damn drink,” the larger man growled. “Boy, if I hear the word straightedge come out of your yap one more f*ckin’ time I’ll shove the glass up your ass. Understood?” Punk shook his head as ‘Taker released him.
“You heard the Deadman,” Jack said. “Drink.” He shoved the drink at Punk, who opened his mouth to speak. Jack didn’t wait for the words to come. He dumped the contents into Punk’s mouth.
The Straightedge Superstar’s eyes practically bugged out of his head as he sputtered, coughing up half of the drink. He slapped a hand over his mouth as he realized that a good portion of the drink went down.
“What have I done,” he exclaimed.
“Relax, bro,” Jack replied. “It was just one drink…well…a quarter of a drink.” Jack noted that a good amount of the drink had gone on the floor and down Punk’s shirt.
“My whole life is a lie,” Punk moaned and then yelped as the front of his shirt was grabbed and he found himself nose to nose with the Undertaker.
“Boy, quit your damn belly achin’ and enjoy the f*ckin’ party,” he growled. “Your life hasn’t been a lie if you move on and don’t take another f*ckin’ drink. If you’re gonna continue to piss and moan about it then I can help you find your back to the hotel.” He paused a moment, a sadistic smile curling his lips. “And you won’t need cab fare. Am I understood?”
“Y-y-yes, sir,” Punk stammered.
“Good,” ‘Taker smiled and set the smaller man back on his feet. He released his grip on the shirt, straightening the material out. “Now, go have fun.”
“Yes, sir,” Punk yelled and scurried off into the crowd.
“You’re evil, old man,” Jack chuckled.
“Watch who you’re callin’ old, boy,” ‘Taker grumbled sitting back down to his beer. “Or I’ll make that nightmare you had about me look like Disneyland.”
“Love ya too, Deadman,” Jack chuckled as he went back to the party.
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