Blade: Trinity
** Cert 15
Peter Bradshaw
Friday 10 December 2004
The Guardian
That title is a fancy way of saying Blade 3, or Blade: Another Sequel, or maybe The Blade Revolutions. The first two Blades, directed by Stephen Torrington and Guillermo Del Toro, were excitingly unwholesome vampire martial-arts shockers, starring Wesley Snipes as the charismatic Daywalker. Now directing responsibilities have been handed over the Blades' screenwriter David S Goyer, and, despite one entertainingly bizarre performance from Parker Posey, the result is pretty anaemic. The last drop of blood was extracted from this franchise by the end of the last movie, but Goyer and co-producer Snipes are still sucking away.
Blade now has the help of a younger, prettier and more buff generation of vampire-hunters called Nightstalkers. They're up against a tasty crew of Undead degenerates led by the uproariously neurotic Parker Posey, all fizzing pupils and floppy hair. It's the part she was born to play. If only she was the chief villain. Instead, the movie revives the Great Count himself: Dracula is discovered in - wait for it - Iraq! (I can only assume that everyone involved is angling for an overnight stay in the Lincoln bedroom.)
This turns out to be the dullest portrayal of Dracula in the history of the cinema. Forget blood. Drake, as he is now boringly known, is in dire need of a charisma transfusion. There's only one actor up to the part, in my opinion, and that's Jeremy Northam. Perhaps he wasn't available
All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt. (Charles M. Schulz)
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