Posted by Gary/haunted/RDG on August 2, 2005, 1:03 am, in reply to "Crazy message board / I always ask their permission first" You're absolutely right about beaches. They are a very good outlet when the desire gets overwhelming and I have to act on it. For one thing it's already acceptable to have only one article of clothing on so it's close to being naked anyway. Another thing that's a plus to this is it's quick to get undressed and dressed. The best places are areas near the ocean where there are dunes down close to the water. I live on the Alabama gulf coast and there're a couple of areas where there are dunes that do go almost right down to the water. When the urges do overwhelm me I go to these places. I usually try to go earlier in the day when there aren't many people about. These areas are non-nude beaches and you never see any nudity here at all so that makes it better for me. One instance just for an example of how I do this was this past summer. Normally what I do is go down and kind of walk up and down one of the stretches of beach where the dunes are looking for someone that's walking the beach too. This particular day after being there a bit I saw three people down the beach. It turned out that it was two girls and a boy. Like I said I like to go early because there are very few people around. After I decided that they were going to keep walking on by this dune section, I turned around and went back up the beach and got right inside the dunes but at a place where I was right down by the water. They have to walk almost out in the water to keep from having to come across the dunes. What I did was put my towel down and lay down and took off my swimsuit and lay there naked waiting for them to come by. When they did get up there they did just like I had hoped and walked on down by the water to get around the dune. Where I was lying was at most 10 feet from where they walked and they couldn't see me until they were right up on me. When they noticed me the girls looked and immediately looked back forward. The boy however kept looking. I spoke to them with just a "Hi, how are you," and the boy stopped and spoke back. When he did one of the girls stopped and looked back at me. So I started trying to chat with them and the other girl turned around and came back. After I had all three of them there talking with them looking at me lying there naked I started getting an erection. Which was the ultimate exhibitionist's dream for me because they were there right in front of me and were watching it getting hard. The chatting kind of slowed after a bit but with me fully erect for a while and with not only the girls but the boy too looking mostly right at my erection through this whole conversation. And they said their goodbyes and walked on away. This was just one instance; I've done variations of this same thing many, many times here. There is a tremendous excitement after I've gotten naked and am lying there waiting for the person I'm going to show myself to to come into view, plus there's a humiliation or shame also involved that is also a part of the turn on to doing this. I've never been to any kind of therapy but I do believe that there are some issues from way back that may have caused this quirk in my psyche to have developed. But, I don't remember any specific thing. I try to not act on these desires and am getting better I think but like I said earlier, sometimes I just get overwhelmed and truly can not control this overpowering urge to expose myself. I too, do feel that it does no harm, other than from what I see, is to usually startle someone. Most people will look and turn away and keep on walking. Some immediately turn around and walk back by. Rarely, but occasionally, like the two girls and the boy, they will stop and look. Or like in this instance stand there talking and watch. When this happens and I get comfortable enough with the situation to get an erection while they're watching, it is the best that could happen and is what seems to satisfy the urges for a while after that. I do not know why I'm like I am and why I can't control it and not do these things, other than my suspicions that it could stem from way back. I want to stop and be normal and then in the same breath I don't want to stop because I do enjoy doing this. I love the feeling I have in my stomach when I'm naked and someone is looking at me. And that's where most of the feelings are, in my stomach. I also like the feelings of nervousness and also the humiliating, shame and embarrassment that I also feel. It's a two edged sword and I seem to be walking down the blade part. I guess what I'm trying to say here is that I just wish I could understand why. Most people aren't like this so I know that this is an illness of some type for lack of a better word. All of the explanations I've read here don't seem to explain it to me. I just wish I could understand this. _________________________ Thanks for sharing. Keep coming back. For a long time I saw the act as harmless. And that was one of the major problems I had to deal with. In my mind the act is harmless, or I wouldn't be able to do it in the first place. Despite being an exhibitionist I have a very strong sense of right and wrong. I think of myself as pretty much a good person and I always self-justified the act. Where this matter is concerned I am not able to clearly judge things. I had to "step outside the act" and use a different example which I did understand. Theft, for example. I believe it is very wrong. So I thought about stealing five dollars. That theft would feel very different to different people. If I stole five dollars from a rich man he might not even notice. If I stole a poor man's last five dollars I would devastate him. In both cases my selfish act was the same. And in both cases the result was beyond my control. The crux of it is that I place my needs before someone else. I can't pick or determine how people will react or how my actions will hurt them. I don't want to harm anyone. If I am doing selfish things I will hurt people. Sounds stupid but thinking about it this way helped me. Good Luck _________________________ Dear Tim: Thanks for the detailed story of asking for the woman’s permission first. Let me just include that it is better to do this in a more private area, like an apartment or a motel. Why take the chance to offend someone else? You may get in trouble, along with the woman. _________________________ Dear Gary: You are 100% right when you say you are standing on the blade of this two-edged sword. You are taking big risks in that one day you will find yourself arrested and with REAL shame and humiliation to deal with. If you cannot control the urge to be naked, then I suggest you find a willing partner who will enjoy seeing you but in a more private place. DO NOT TAKE ANY UNNECESSARY CHANCES, GARY. And find yourself a good behavioral therapist who will help you find out why you feel these urges to strip naked at a beach. Therapy takes time so you better be patient with yourself and with your therapist. May your GOD go with you, Gary.
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Message modified by board administrator September 16, 2005, 5:55 am
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Re: Gary at the beach
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