Posted by Mike on September 5, 2005, 8:52 pm
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Posted by Mike on September 10, 2002, 12:05 am in response to: From "Ask the Sex Doc": Husband exposing himself to the maid I have a Hispanic maid—she’s not from Mexico, but from one of the countries farther south, and she lives as an illegal alien in my house with me. She’s a friend of the wife of a friend of mine. He’s American, his wife is from the same country as my maid is, and she was the one who referred her to me. Araceli (my maid) doesn’t speak a word of English, but I know Spanish because I studied it in school. She’s gorgeous—black hair, brown eyes, light brownish skin. Although I’m white and blue-eyed with light-brown hair, I’ve always preferred Asian and Hispanic women. I think the only real feminine beauty is when they have a skin color that’s darker than white, and with raven-black hair color. (That’s my opinion, anyway.) When she first came to work for me, in the evenings when I would go to take a shower, I would always wear a long T-shirt that reached all the way down to my thighs, on the way to and from the shower. But one day when she and I were sitting at the table eating dinner, we started talking on the subject of the different customs between our countries, and then it led into the subject of Americans’ views towards nudity, compared with the way it is in her country. I wanted to just fib and tell her, “Oh, don’t worry, here in the U.S. it’s the custom for everybody to just go around naked in front of everybody all the time, so don’t worry if I do it sometime in front of you,” except that she lives here and all she has to do is take a look around and see that that’s not true (though if I were the one who was in her country, then maybe I could tell her something like that and she wouldn’t know I was fibbing). So I took the little fib and toned it down a little, pointing out to her how there are some nude beaches that exist in this country—which is true—and I told her the reason for that is that in this country, different circles of people have different views about nudity—which is also true—and that in many major circles of people in the U.S., people just grow up going around naked in front of everybody of both sexes, and to them it doesn’t make any difference. Well, the only thing untrue about that last statement is the part about it being that way in “many major circles.” Although there are a few tiny circles of people where it’s like that (and yes, naturism is gradually on the rise in this country, but it’s not like it is in Europe), it isn’t to the point yet where there are any major portions of the population where the people just go around that way all the time in front of everybody, the way I made it sound. Well, she’s from a different country, she’s new here, and because of not speaking the language, her contact with people is isolated to the Latino community, and they tend to see the mainstream Anglo-Saxon population here from their more-conservative viewpoint on the subject of nudity, so if she ever talks to them about it, they will probably exaggerate the facts about how common and normal it is here, to the point of sounding about like what I told her, because from their viewpoint, an exaggeration is about the way they see it. We had that conversation not too long after they had first referred her to me, and I didn’t want to scare her right away with the suggestion of me going around that way in front of her, but after a little while the subject came up, and when I told her that, I told her I was one who comes from the circle of people here in the U.S. (which I made it sound like was the majority) where we just don’t think anything of the whole idea of nudity, and we don’t have any bodily shame—trying to sound nonchalant about it. That was a little fib. Actually, nothing could be further from the truth. I grew up in a home raised under a Puritanical viewpoint. Nudity would have been an atrocity. I fibbed some more and told her that in some public schools in the U.S., since the age of middle school, the boys and the girls shower together naked after P.E. class, and they’re used to it, and I went to a school that was like that and I’ve been used to it since I was a kid. I told her the parents have the option of choosing which of the two kinds of schools they want their kids to go to (lie). So then, as we sat at the table, I came out and told her, “You know, I’m accustomed to just going through the house naked when I go from my room to the bathroom to take a shower, but since you’ve come here I haven’t been doing it that way, because I know you come from a country where people aren’t used to it, and I haven’t wanted to make you feel uncomfortable.” I paused to watch the expression on her face. She nodded like she was understanding what I was saying, but didn’t say anything. I went on: “I really prefer it that way, after I’m all wet from bathing, to be able to just go to my room without having to put my clothes back on, because when I’m not entirely dry yet, my clothes feel all sticky on me. I’d like to be able to do it that way, just go between my room and the bathroom without having to worry about having anything on.” She nodded again. Now some people, if they were listening to our conversation and decided to butt in right there, might say, “Well, that’s what bathrobes are for!” Well, to that I say, “Shhh! I’m not interested in hearing any ideas right now about ways to solve the problem!” “Araceli,” I said to her, “you know, if it would really, really bother you for me to do that, then I’ll respect your wishes and make sure I always have something on when I come out. But… if it doesn’t bother you… the truth is... I really prefer it that way.” She raised her eyebrows, nodding, then shrugged her shoulders and said, “Well… if you feel comfortable that way, then it’s up to you.” Then she added, “But if you don’t feel comfortable…” and shrugged her shoulders again. “No, I do. I feel perfectly comfortable going around that way,” I replied. “It doesn’t matter to me who sees me that way.” She shrugged her shoulders again and said, “Well, all right then.” “So it’s all right then? It wouldn’t bother you?” She shook her head. “No, it’s all right.” “Okay,” I said with a smugly satisfied smile. “Then from now on, when I go to bathe, I won’t worry anymore about whether I have anything on or not.” (If she had said it would have bothered her, then just as I told her, I would have respected her wish and would always have made sure I was wearing something.) Then, trying to keep a sly smile from coming across my face, I asked her, curiously, “Have you ever seen a naked man before?” She thought for a second, then put her hand over her mouth, giggled and said, “No.” In her country the little boys go running around naked all the time, and nobody thinks anything of it if they’re just little kids, but when they’re adults, then they consider it different. She would have to have seen little boys running around naked the way they do sometime; that was understood, but, as she was telling me, she had never seen a grown man (yet). I finished dinner, then told her, “Well, I’m finished. I’d like to go take a shower now.” (Continued)