Posted by Frank/Adm./pamela/haunted/RDG on August 9, 2005, 2:48 am, in reply to "Define Deviant Exhibitionism [series]" Here’s a definition from Planet-Yoni.com. First it begins by talking about the general image society tends to have, and traditionally has had, of exhibitionists, then it goes on to the contemporary idea of exhibitionism as an act between consenting adults. At the beginning of the article, I can see quite a bit of editorializing in it, but he still has some interesting points: Even more than the voyeur, the archetypal exhibitionist has a mainly negative image of a “dirty old man” or a “vulgar slut” doing something very indecent, i.e. showing openly what should—according to clergy and lawmakers—remain hidden forever beneath clothing, in toilets or in curtained bedrooms with all the lights off. Of course, the archetypal “dirty old man” who exposes himself without invitation to do so is both pathetic and emotionally disturbed. However, not only is he himself a victim of a sexually repressed society, but he can only succeed in shocking his “victim” because they themselves have remained sexually immature. Being himself sexually frustrated, he can feed only on those who are equally frustrated and/or repressed; i.e. shocked and/or scared. Fortunately, as more and more contemporary individuals assert themselves against outdated general standards and opinions, exhibitionism is also undergoing a transformation towards consent rather than shock. As with voyeurism, many people today simply search and find their partners at the other end of the scopophiliac spectrum, and exhibitionism is becoming simply one more among numerous sexual preferences and activities; as long as one does not bother anyone who does not want to be thus approached. That exhibitionism can come to a person rather naturally is born out—for example—by the testimony of a woman who published her childhood memories in Nancy Friday’s Forbidden Flowers: “When I was about six years old, I masturbated regularly and I also delighted in showing off my body to the boys that came to play at our home.” [translated from the Dutch edition: Verboden Vruchten, p. 28] In more general, Nancy Friday has also shown by way of her publications that exhibitionism is not at all a domain of men; it is very much alive among women; and on a rather broad scale. _________________________ Exhibitionism involves exposing one’s genitals or sexual organs to a stranger. It is a sexual disorder. While often joked about, in reality, exhibitionism is a very serious behavior that can be frightening to the victim. Exhibitionism involves nonconsenting persons. Sometimes the exhibitionist masturbates while exposing himself or herself, but makes no further attempt at sexual activity with the stranger. An exhibitionist is not seeking physical contact and will not commit rape, although some rapists show signs of what may appear to be exhibitionism as well. An exhibitionist is sexually aroused by the shock or surprise of the victim. The key features of true exhibitionism are: —there is sexual arousal directly related to the shock —the victim is unwilling and —no further sexual contact is desired The vast majority are male. Female exhibitionists may seek employment where the condition can be exploited, such as topless dancing, although most people in such jobs are not exhibitionists. Although this condition appears to be a lifelong problem if not treated, the condition often becomes less severe by age 40. Many mild forms of exhibitionism are considered normal in our culture. Children often have a natural curiosity about their genitals and the genitals of others. Young children may like to try to shock adults or other children by showing their genitals or underwear. This is typically a passing phase and only calls for professional treatment if it persists. Most exhibitionists do not receive treatment until they are caught by the police and the court orders treatment. If you or someone you care about is an exhibitionist, early treatment is strongly advised. Discuss the matter of confidentiality with your mental health professional. Copyright (c) 1999. HBO & Company (602) 230-7575. All Rights Reserved. Link: University of Iowa Health Care _________________________ Exhibitionism: Compulsive act of inappropriately exposing one’s sex organs to unsuspecting strangers for the purpose of sexual arousal and gratification. Also known as “indecent exposure” and “flashing,” this paraphilia is found almost exclusively in males and the peak age of occurrence is reported to be in the twenties. Many exhibitionists have erectile difficulties in other forms of sexual activity and seem to be pushed by an uncontrollable urge that leads to their impulsive behavior. For some, the primary intent of exhibitionism is to evoke shock or fear in their victims, not necessarily to achieve an erection or to ejaculate. They derive their pleasure from the visible reaction of their victims. It is generally agreed that the exhibitionist is unlikely to rape or assault his victims, but there are exceptions to this rule, especially when an exhibitionist is unsatisfied with his victim’s response. Police catch more exhibitionists than any other category of paraphiliacs. The risk of being caught may be an important element of the turn-on, leading some exhibitionists into behavior almost guaranteed to result in arrest, such as repeatedly performing at the same street corner. Link: health.discovery.com _________________________ Posted by pamela on December 22, 2004, 12:36 am, Good article. The qualifications of sexual arousal show intention; unwanted, uninvited or unwilling show victimization. I believe there is some ego-centrism involved in exhibitionism, is there not? It points to arrested development, or some trauma or unresolved grief at an earlier age. Perhaps the best reality therapy would be a trip to a local prison, where many males would love to show their organ to another male, or have forced sex, which would be unwanted, and uninvited. A Supreme Court justice said the only demonstrable thing prison cures is heterosexuality. In any case, how better to realize what it feels like to be an object... for someone's sexual gratification, instead of a human being with dignity, rights and feelings? _________________________ I'm not gonna beat around the bush on this one. I was going to try to debate or talk in abstracts, but maybe my point will be better made if it's from the heart. As a child I was raped/sexually assaulted. As an adult male I became an exhibitionist. As an adult male I was also raped. Though there may appear to be 'role' differences in each of the three cases they share a root. In each case I was caught in a cycle of Hate. Making someone a victim does not give them special insight into hate. In fact I feel that it reinforces the very 'feeling' that is dominating them. 'Attackers' are victims of their own actions too. This is said in no way to diminish the pain of 'victims', but just to point out that your solution only continues a cycle. If it's a matter of 'deserve' or tic tac then it's not my place to say what people deserve. For me, deserve doesn't have a God damned thing to do with it. A direct act of love and kindness given to me by someone I had treated like garbage was the only thing that saved me. Did I deserve that kindness? Deserve or not it saved my life and has given me hope. I am in no way advocating people allow themselves to become victims, saints or enablers. But you can't teach love with hate. And people learn lessons when they are ready. It's frustrating I know...for everybody involved. _________________________ Definitions by pamela 16th April 2005 Dear Pamela: Thank you for your definition of victimization and saying that exhibitionism is egocentric. I think it is true. I have been an exhibitionist since I was a boy and am now in a strong recovery with a good behavioral therapist. I want to apologize to you because you are a woman who represents the women whom I have offended with my unwanted behavior. I hope that you were not offended by an exhibitionist. _________________________ Posted by haunted on April 26, 2005, 11:52 am Well put, RDG!
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Message modified by board administrator October 5, 2005, 5:47 am
Planet Yoni definition
Posted by Frank on May 25, 2001
Exhibitionism:
University of Iowa Health Care definition
Posted by Adm. on October 11, 2002, 7:44 pm
http://www.uihealthcare.com/index.html
Discovery Heath definition
Posted by Adm. on February 12, 2004, 4:24 pm
http://health.discovery.com/centers/%20sex/sexpedia/paraphilia.html
Posted by haunted on December 22, 2004, 1:58 pm
Posted by RDG on April 16, 2005, 11:15 am
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