Posted by Jack/John on September 12, 2005, 3:13 am Hi Everyone, I am a 22-year-old man from the UK. I don’t want to sound conceited but I am handsome and have a very good career. To the outside my life is going brilliantly. But what no one knows is that I’ve been struggling with exhibitionism for years. If i think back, it started when I was in my very early teens at school, but it probably started before then. I just can’t remember. I did it all the time, but very cleverly so that I never got caught. An incident that stands out in my memory was when I was 16. The head of the Sports Dept. was a very strict woman in her late 30s who would often walk bold as brass through the boys’ changing rooms when we were getting changed. One afternoon after football practice when everyone had gone home I waited behind under the pretense I was going to have a shower, and stripped off. I stepped into the shower and let a bit of water run over me. I could hear her next door inspecting the girls’ changing room and knew she would be in here next. I got very aroused. I heard the door began to open and timed it so as she walked into the room I would be walking out of the shower totally naked. She walked in and saw me. I tried to look as shocked as possible. I could feel my heart pounding. She looked down at my penis, which was as hard as it had ever been. I was so turned on I wanted to start touching myself there and then. She mumbled something, turned around and was out of the door in a flash. I began to masturbate. The rush was incredible. But the guilt and fear of getting caught that came later as I walked home was just as intense. Since that day I have replayed and repeated that incident in a variety of different situations, often taking ridiculous risks. Every time the rush is incredible, and every time I’m tormented by guilt and fear afterwards. I do it every couple of months or so until I need my next fix, and I am hopelessly addicted to doing it. One of the most dangerous incidents is the doctor’s. A few years ago when I went to University I registered with the campus doctor. I had to see a nurse first and went through all the usual routines. Then i told her about a problem I had been having with my foreskin—it was tight and becoming painful and I thought there may have been a tear. She had just done a course on sexual health and proceeded to give me a long chat about sex. She wasn’t shy and was very explicit in her descriptions, particularly about her own sex life. I played innocent and embarrassed, but was secretly very turned on. She suggested she take a look at my penis, and I acted reluctant, but agreed. We went into another room and I went behind a screen. She left the room and gave me a few minutes to undress. I began to masturbate. I couldn’t resist. It felt incredible. She came back in and asked if I was ready. I said yes and she came around the screen. I saw her pause as she saw my erection, and I liked the look that was in her eyes. I half apologised for it but she smiled and said it was natural and that it would probably be better to tell if the foreskin was tight. She pulled on rubber gloves and took my penis in her hand. She pulled the foreskin back slowly, asking me if it hurt as I was moaning quite loudly. She pulled it all the way back with one hand and was holding the shaft in the other. She said that it did seem a little tight and had I tried lubrication. She got some out of the drawer and I smeared some on the tip of my penis as she watched and began to rub it around. The way I was rubbing it in and pulled the foreskin up and down—it was practically masturbation. I told her that I had an embarrassing question to ask so I could keep her there watching me as i semi-masturbated. She said “What?” and I asked about my penis size. To my absolute delight, she said that I had nothing to worry about and was very well endowed, that most men would love to be that big. I wasn’t expecting such a positive comment, even though I know my penis is big. I began to come—I couldn’t stop. I began to masturbate quite openly and came onto the floor. I looked at her and felt genuine embarrassment, guilt and fear. I started to apologise over and over, but she didn’t seem shaken and just said, “Don’t worry, it’s not the first time I’ve seen a man come.” I couldn’t believe it. So I ended up getting away with it, but I knew it was a ridiculous risk to take, even though I did use an alias when i registered. I have almost been caught and got into a lot of trouble several times over the year, but thankfully it has never actually happened. One day I hope I will stop, but right now I don’t know if that will ever happen. I am not asking for help. I just wanted to get that off my chest. A confession, so to speak. Jack _________________________ Jack, I read your story with great interest. I too have similar experiences—particularly relating to the doctors. It is comforting to know that ‘I’m not the only one.’ It is also interesting reading some of the other submissions on this site. It has been revealing to me to begin to understand the possible source of this problem for me. Read the item submitted by Frank at http://members3.boardhost.com/exhib/msg/998.html and the following replies. It’s very revealing and I think it applies to you to an extent. It certainly applies to me. What we have in common are these events in our history where we have been in a situation to expose with the permission, or agreement, or design of women. We’ve found those to be positive experiences and then we’ve gone on to try and recreate or relive those experiences. My early and defining experiences come from a number of events: 1) A babysitter who, after a bath, used to massage me naked, when I was seven or eight years old. I’ll detail the story in a following submission. 2) Playing a game of ‘you show me yours and I’ll show you mine’ with two girls when we were aged about 10 years old. The game fairly quickly turned into a ‘domination/slave’ game. I’ll detail the story in a following submission. 3) When I was a teenager, the dental hygienist nurse at the dental surgery used to sexually tease me. She had two tricks up her sleeve: B) The other tease was to use my crotch as a staging ground for her tools etc. I would always be wearing the apron/gown, but she would insist on placing her various items there and almost make a point of ‘touching me up’ when she picked anything up. 4) Again, when I was a teenager and I was accepted at a job, the company sent me to a private doctor’s surgery for a medical check up. The ‘doctor’ was a very crabby middle-aged woman. She surprised me initially by telling me that I had to take all of my clothes off. During the course of the examination she was very rough with my penis, testicles and anus. She was completely disrespectful of my complete and unnecessary nakedness throughout the entire examination procedure. Most surprising of all was when she asked me to stand on the height/weight scales. There was a knock at the door and in came the receptionist girl (or telephonist or something). She gave a folder to the 'doctor'. I was made to stand there naked in front of this girl for a minute or so while the ‘doctor’ read a document in this file. Afterwards, it occurred to me that the phone rang moments before the ‘doctor’ positioned me (or displayed me) on the scales. All she said was ‘Okay.’ I think that was the signal for the ‘doctor’ to get me on the scales and for the girl to come in and see me. Over the next 20 years or so, I have tried to recreate/relive some of these experiences, or perhaps its an attempt to ‘get my own back’ to a certain extent—I don’t quite know which. These experiences are detailed in following submissions entitled ‘At the doctor’s’. Link: Post a response
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22-year-old exhibitionist
Posted by Jack on July 29, 2004, 6:21 am
38-year-old exhibitionist
Posted by John on August 2, 2004, 7:12 amA) She would push her breasts onto the side of my face as she treated me. Her breast was always firmly on the side of my face, and often there would be a firm nipple in my ear, cheek, or chin;
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