Posted by sha sha on 8/19/2005, 7:54 am, in reply to "My Inner Child" --Previous Message--
12.145.233.182
I had an image that has helped me to tolerate my mom.......I am so tired of just having her disheveled image to look at so much...yes , I am an artist and I like decay, change, processes, beauty in everything....lessons in every image!! She is very beautiful...extraordinarily so...and I do see it...It's the words that come out of her mouth I hate... she never ever changed her judgemental outlook...so not to give her full inventory here... back to what is helping me....It will be in a script I will write for a movie some day....(lol) ya know how the images of old people are usually in the most pathetic flashes...See the person not as the bitter, angry, I'm not dying kinda jerk...but as a six year old , legs dangling, the beauty of their inner child , unspoiled, open , curious, doing their best, waiting , wondering, trusting the adult (which is us)..fragile..needy....vulnerable.....and above all folks......ABOVE ALL...... EXPECTING A MIRACLE..... i CAN BE THE VESSEL WHICH HELPS THE ENERGY TO COME AND ENTER AND HAVE AN EFFECT ON THEIR HEART.............MY HEART CAN BECOME EMPTY OF MY RESENTMENTS, ANGER,AND ALLOW IT 'S INNER CHILD TO HOLD HER HAND...TO LOVE HER UNCONDITIONALLY....AS i HAVE PRAYED TO BE ABLE TO DO...INSTEAD OF "HOW MUCH LONGER, IT HAS BEEN FIVE YEARS...i'M TIRED.....i'VE LOST MY CREATIVE ENERGY, i CAN'T PAINT,...i GOT FAT...i AM UNHEALTHY...HELP ME TO GE T OUT OF THE SWAMPLAND...BUT FOLKS THE SWAMPLAND IS PULLING THE TOXINS OUT...I AM HAVING THOSE LITTLE UNEXPECTED MIRACLES THAT WERE NOT PLANNED...I AM SEEING HER DIFFERENTLY....SHE ALMOST WENT LAST NITE....NO THING.......NOTHING EVER LASTS...NO DIFFICULT PASSAGE WE ARE IN NEVER LASTS...CHANGE ALWAYS COMES....SHA SHA
: My inner child has become free of the
: anger and confusion from her past.
: She is learning that she can be
: loved and trusted just as she is.
: She no longer has the pain and
: suffering that has lasted for so
: many, many years. At last she is
: free. Just some thoughts I wanted
: to share. Peace to all.
:
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