Posted by Jim on 8/5/2005, 3:13 pm This is a difficult course because everyone told me I was using the above ideas as an excuse to just do whatever the hell I wanted. Of course partially that was true. Now I feel that my partial recovery is stronger than the "full" recovery of many addicts who have stopped all the behaviors but remain prone to a full relapse. When I've been sober for a year and have one beer, I've still got that one year. Nothing can take it away. In AA we are taught that the one beer wipes away that year. We are then a complete failure who may easily enter full relapse to assuage the guilt. When I have one beer, it is merely evidence to me that I am probably getting on shaky ground with my personal work. That is helpful info for me. I think it is significant that I have found success by going my own way that I thought of myself. It means that we don't have to be afraid to think for ourselves. I suppose it could be said that we do need to fear not thinking for ourselves. Popular wisdom does not always exist because of its rightness. Sometimes it just exists because it took hold in a way (often religious like AA) that people are afraid to question.
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My experience with other addictions is that (contrary to popular belief) It is possible to focus on personal work and let success in addiction reduction follow. In AA and in most psychological counseling situations, I was always told that my behaviors had to change before I could begin personal growth work. But I was not stopping the behaviors and felt that I needed help/counseling anyway. Bit by bit I pieced together some mental health while remaining a practicing addict and eventually most of my problem behaviors reduced. I believe this is the result of self acceptance including acceptance of my addicted self.
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