Posted by Seth on 3/13/2005, 8:26 am It's like you have to be continuously aware of what's happening inside yourself, and clear enough not to be taken over by your emotions when they do come up. There seems to be no room for mistakes. To be inwardly motivated when 99% of people are outwardly motivated, makes emotional clearing a very lonely task. I guess part of the problem is that everyone has to be outwardly motivated to some degree, we all need food and shelter. So it seems I'm stuck playing in the games of others who value a different way of life. I find all this exposure to other people eventually gets to me and I get really lost.
24.43.159.18
This work is a challenge. I find that I always run into situations where I'm not sure what dynamic is at work. As a result I end up creating a false cause which results in me having to deal with its effect.
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