Posted by Jim on 1/27/2005, 7:35 am, in reply to "Re: Parents" --Previous Message--
4.255.32.255
If there is a reason for their presence in my life it must be so I can learn to speak my mind because that is the one overwhelming suppression I do to myself around them. And its true actually. I definitely "control" my mouth all the time. Thanks
: : At the age of (almost) 52 I continue
: to go through all kinds of stuff
: around my parents! I was even able
: to clear a lot of material around a
: violent rape, but haven't really
: truly integrated my issues with my
: parents, although I have made some
: progress.
:
: One thing struck me about your
: posting. You said.."The truth
: is I really don't value their
: presence in my life."
:
: I am wondering, both for you and for
: me, if there's some denial of a gift
: there. Remember in John's books he
: said we end up thanking the people
: who carry our projections, because
: we have been able to heal and
: integrate because of the
: "gift" they bring.
:
: What (albiet maybe a little weird)
: gift do your parents bring to you
: with this situation?
:
: Maybe this is too abstract. Hope it
: sparks off a little something
:
:
:
:
:
: --Previous Message--
: I'm going out to lunch with my
: parents
: today (im 42) to try to explain to
: them why I dont spend much time with
: them. The truth is I dont value
: their presence in my life. I dont
: like my mother and I feel very
: uncomfortable and anxious around her
: and I would be absolutely fine if I
: knew I was never going to see her
: again.
:
: So how to draw the line between
: honesty and hurting her is something
: I will be struggling with. I dont
: want to hurt her. In fact I have a
: built in need to put her feelings
: before mine and protect her from
: hurt. I suppose protecting her
: feelings all my life could have
: something to do with why I dont like
: being with her. LOTS of suppressed
: stuff here.
:
: Thank god for EC. I am able to go
: into this knowing that I dont need
: to talk to her to do my processing.
: The processing is personal and I do
: that on my own. What I am doing is
: giving them an explanation they are
: asking for out of respect. Its
: coming cleare as I type. I dont have
: to expose my inner processes to
: them. All I need to do is give an
: explanation that they can understand
: and will work for them! great, I
: feel much better now, thanks guys
:
:
:
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