Posted by (no name) on 1/26/2005, 8:25 am, in reply to "Parents" ‘ Its so easy to believe that some outside event will bring you the joy you’re seeking, But what if you found out ....that what you are actually chasing is not a particular goal or result but rather a particular feeling............. You might think you will be happy when............but I challenge you to look deeper. What are you hoping to feel....’ (p18/19) The following exercise is taken from the book: Write down a description of the fantasy life you re hoping and wishing you will “ one day” lead Dissect your fantasy to determine how you hope you will feel once that fantasy comes true. Identify actions to take each day to generate within yourself the feelings you are chasing. Commit to being 100% responsible for creating the feelings you desire. Jim if you take the example you give re your mother, how would you hope to feel if you didnt see her, and, could you give yourself this/these feeling(s). Would this then be a way to reclaim yourself?
195.92.168.175
Thank you for this The following is taken from D. Ford’s book ‘The best year of your life’ from the chapter - exposing the fantasy. When I started reading it I thought it was similar to so many other books, as I took in what she says I see the relationship with em clearing :
This kind of follows on re what Linda says, would you try it?
--Previous Message--
: I'm going out to lunch with my parents
: today (im 42) to try to explain to
: them why I dont spend much time with
: them. The truth is I dont value
: their presence in my life. I dont
: like my mother and I feel very
: uncomfortable and anxious around her
: and I would be absolutely fine if I
: knew I was never going to see her
: again.
:
: So how to draw the line between
: honesty and hurting her is something
: I will be struggling with. I dont
: want to hurt her. In fact I have a
: built in need to put her feelings
: before mine and protect her from
: hurt. I suppose protecting her
: feelings all my life could have
: something to do with why I dont like
: being with her. LOTS of suppressed
: stuff here.
:
: Thank god for EC. I am able to go
: into this knowing that I dont need
: to talk to her to do my processing.
: The processing is personal and I do
: that on my own. What I am doing is
: giving them an explanation they are
: asking for out of respect. Its
: coming cleare as I type. I dont have
: to expose my inner processes to
: them. All I need to do is give an
: explanation that they can understand
: and will work for them! great, I
: feel much better now, thanks guys
:
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