Posted by Linda on 1/26/2005, 4:05 am, in reply to "Parents" One thing struck me about your posting. You said.."The truth is I really don't value their presence in my life." I am wondering, both for you and for me, if there's some denial of a gift there. Remember in John's books he said we end up thanking the people who carry our projections, because we have been able to heal and integrate because of the "gift" they bring. What (albiet maybe a little weird) gift do your parents bring to you with this situation? Maybe this is too abstract. Hope it sparks off a little something --Previous Message--
205.188.116.135
At the age of (almost) 52 I continue to go through all kinds of stuff around my parents! I was even able to clear a lot of material around a violent rape, but haven't really truly integrated my issues with my parents, although I have made some progress.
: I'm going out to lunch with my parents
: today (im 42) to try to explain to
: them why I dont spend much time with
: them. The truth is I dont value
: their presence in my life. I dont
: like my mother and I feel very
: uncomfortable and anxious around her
: and I would be absolutely fine if I
: knew I was never going to see her
: again.
:
: So how to draw the line between
: honesty and hurting her is something
: I will be struggling with. I dont
: want to hurt her. In fact I have a
: built in need to put her feelings
: before mine and protect her from
: hurt. I suppose protecting her
: feelings all my life could have
: something to do with why I dont like
: being with her. LOTS of suppressed
: stuff here.
:
: Thank god for EC. I am able to go
: into this knowing that I dont need
: to talk to her to do my processing.
: The processing is personal and I do
: that on my own. What I am doing is
: giving them an explanation they are
: asking for out of respect. Its
: coming cleare as I type. I dont have
: to expose my inner processes to
: them. All I need to do is give an
: explanation that they can understand
: and will work for them! great, I
: feel much better now, thanks guys
:
Message Thread:
« Back to thread