Posted by Linda WHOOPS on 1/20/2005, 5:22 am, in reply to "Re: the ripple effects and affects..." It's my sense that you are courageous in your work. Keep it up, it will continue to pay off, especially in spiritual growth. I am not the best at this work, really I am a continual beginner. But I believe in it, and therein lies the real gift, the real magic. The absolute hardest part of all of this kind of healing is to withdraw from blame. It is very very difficult to do this with abuse issues, but it is a wonderful thing when you can do it. I'm trying, too. Also just as important is not to lapse into subtle forms of self blame. I do this all the time and am just only beginning to get the tiger by the tail. It's taken over 5 years! I so appreciate your comment. --Previous Message--
69.38.76.43
I MUSE REALLY IDENTIFY WITH YOU I POSTED MY LAST POST AS YOU!!!
: -Thank you Linda,
: your response ,read yesterday , I
: found ,so kind, very right,
: insightful gentle and apt. - with
: much appreciation.
:
: At the time of writing yesterday I
: sensed a shift, I had done alot of
: work and somehow the writing,
: whilst still feeling plus sharing,
: furthered the process.
:
: The outcome, I found myself taken
: to a time in childhood and there
: identified a key source. This was
: insightful, within hours + a little
: more inner work a calmness spread
: through me, this was/is calming
: beautiful..... and healing
:
: Yes there is a sense of self
: responsibility to do this work, to
: keep focused on the clearing.and
: thank you for reminding me of the
: 'big picture'
:
:
:
: In many ways I identify with you.
: The
: first reaction to reading your
: posting is that when we have such
: difficult situations that are so
: easy and even natural to run from
: there are a few things that can
: bring it more into focus. One would
: be committment to the work. I'm
: speaking for myself here, but if I
: keep my eye on the challenge of the
: work of meditation and clearing,
: then it seems like there's a hopeful
: and meaningful path in front of me.
:
: Some may have more prononced abuse
: issues than others, but as a human
: race we are trying to evolve from
: roots of abuse. It is something that
: is human, effects us all. In
: accepting, clearing, feeling our
: feelings we in some small way are
: healing as a race.
:
: --Previous Message--
: Currently feel fragile, some weeks
: back the subject of abuse occurred.
: What I want to share is the long
: term ripple affects from an abusive
: relationship ie dealing with the
: absorbed patterns that children
: have. As I write I;m still shaking,
: coz whatever improvements changes
: Ive achieved in this area, with my
: children, I still find there’s more
: and I hurt, am sad, feel resentful,
: anger, despaire, distress and yes
: I’m sitting with it doing the work,
: re asked for inner help, meditated,
: imagined, felt it ....... and these
: have helped, Whereas a relationship
: with a partner thats past its time
: can finally be walked away from,
: learnt and healed, what about your
: own children. I love them, this is
: now, I recognise whats happened, (
: in this case a long while back, re
: patterns), do my best to be what is
: right each moment by moment, yet
: those patterns used by my ex
: partner used to hurt they finally
: got dealt with, when its my own
: children repeating them my god thats
: more than a test, a kind of double
: double whammy, I have dealt with a
: range of these however this time
: the rawness and wariness oh.......
: To those of you who recognise any
: possible involvement in an abusive
: relationship please fast forward the
: potential affects if children become
: involved If there are other parents
: who have moved on from abuse, who
: have children , what do you or did
: you do to move on and develop
: effective healthy relationships with
: your chilcren. Some of it is good,
: however the areas that crop up that
: are really really hard, leave a
: sense of almost total depletion,
: writing this I’ve moved on a bit,
: thankyou for this, for anyone who
: can relate to this situation who has
: successfully moved on and can shed
: some light ................. I think
: at a deep level I have some idea, re
: when a situation occurs that I deal
: with well, and no feelings, Ok,
: those that do represent feelings,
: require integration, this is so hard
: coz I want to run away from it and
: have to face it. and let go of the
: accompanying raw wary feelings to
: respond fresh... sometimes after
: deep meditation this is what
: happens, I guess like any situation,
: that takes you to core despair
: whether through work, with loved
: ones or whatever some trust has to
: be regained, any input?
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