Posted by Seth on 1/19/2005, 12:53 pm, in reply to "Re: the ripple effects and affects..." --Previous Message--
66.185.84.78
If you can feel it, it's a feeling.
: : Is despair a feeling to be
: processed? Is it a feeling?
:
: --Previous Message--
: I sense in your words despair and
: jumbled thoughts. My un diluted
: response is that these are the most
: significant words you wrote:
: "when its my own children
: repeating them my god thats more
: than a test, a kind of double double
: whammy" and that you despair
: becasue life didn't turn out the way
: it "should".
:
: I could be off base and sorry for
: assuming I know anything about you
: but maybe this could be of some use.
: :)
:
: --Previous Message--
: Currently feel fragile, some weeks
: back the subject of abuse occurred.
: What I want to share is the long
: term ripple affects from an abusive
: relationship ie dealing with the
: absorbed patterns that children
: have. As I write I;m still shaking,
: coz whatever improvements changes
: Ive achieved in this area, with my
: children, I still find there’s more
: and I hurt, am sad, feel resentful,
: anger, despaire, distress and yes
: I’m sitting with it doing the work,
: re asked for inner help, meditated,
: imagined, felt it ....... and these
: have helped, Whereas a relationship
: with a partner thats past its time
: can finally be walked away from,
: learnt and healed, what about your
: own children. I love them, this is
: now, I recognise whats happened, (
: in this case a long while back, re
: patterns), do my best to be what is
: right each moment by moment, yet
: those patterns used by my ex
: partner used to hurt they finally
: got dealt with, when its my own
: children repeating them my god thats
: more than a test, a kind of double
: double whammy, I have dealt with a
: range of these however this time
: the rawness and wariness oh.......
: To those of you who recognise any
: possible involvement in an abusive
: relationship please fast forward the
: potential affects if children become
: involved If there are other parents
: who have moved on from abuse, who
: have children , what do you or did
: you do to move on and develop
: effective healthy relationships with
: your chilcren. Some of it is good,
: however the areas that crop up that
: are really really hard, leave a
: sense of almost total depletion,
: writing this I’ve moved on a bit,
: thankyou for this, for anyone who
: can relate to this situation who has
: successfully moved on and can shed
: some light ................. I think
: at a deep level I have some idea, re
: when a situation occurs that I deal
: with well, and no feelings, Ok,
: those that do represent feelings,
: require integration, this is so hard
: coz I want to run away from it and
: have to face it. and let go of the
: accompanying raw wary feelings to
: respond fresh... sometimes after
: deep meditation this is what
: happens, I guess like any situation,
: that takes you to core despair
: whether through work, with loved
: ones or whatever some trust has to
: be regained, any input?
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