Posted by Linda on 9/27/2004, 7:36 am, in reply to "blame & self blame" --Previous Message--
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Well if the idea is to accept that we are filled with blame for ........(fill in th blank) Then I think a good approach would be to focus in (intensely) on the feeling of blame. Pick an old boyfriend, a parent.,..the person that's easiest to feel that feeling with. Sit with the blame feeling and simply accept it. Sit with it until the Witness is serene and loving in its observation. Sit with it until it shifts slightly to a letting go. This is the ideal thing, that the feeling would loosen and be released. It can be hard if you are jammed up with quite a bit of blame. I certainly have been. It's so much easier to give direction to someone else than it is to do it myself. With that said I'm goimg to follow my own advice and try this with more regularlity.
: I finally made the active attempt to
: begin to process some very heavy,
: stuck, emotions that have come up
: over the past few years in romantic
: interactions where I was confronted,
: with directness, exasperation,
: confrontationalism, and combinations
: thereof, on what partners at the time
: thought were my blind spots and how
: those blind spots negatively affected
: them.
: I reacted with panic, on one level,
: which I've hung out with only enough
: to know that it's connected to a need
: (perceived need, whatever) for
: approval.
: I also reacted with blame - of the
: other person and myself. It's a deep
: and stifling response. It feels like
: it's served and continues to serve
: repression.
: I did my first session with these
: feelings this morning and for the
: most part totally numbed out.
: Any experiences with dropping blame
: when it's very very tight? Other
: thoughts?
: Thanks,
: Jen
:
:
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