Posted by Linda on 8/23/2004, 2:31 pm, in reply to "Re: Help with process" It's very difficult, but so simple. I wonder as you explore the feelings this brings up, if there's a deeper sadness to release........it's just the tip of the iceberg --Previous Message--
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I just think we we allow ourselves to fully experience the feeling, whatever it is, there is a liberation from the feeling, a movement, a release. The sadness when accepted and embraced evolves, integrates and a piece of your healing takes place.
: I guess what I am asking is how do you
: know when all the negativity is in
: oneself or when is it being kept
: going by a bad relationship?
: Hi Helen,
: I just re-read the Relationships
: section of the website, partly
: because of a sense of deep sadness
: that I am piecemeal processing today,
: revealed by a shift in a relationship
: with someone I've shared romantic
: chemistry with. I'm experiencing
: exactly what John talks about - a
: relationship can act to keep you from
: feeling something, and in this case,
: I must have been relying on the
: relationship, in part, to
: energetically block
: unprocessed/repressed sadness. It's
: such a tender energy, and to the
: extent that I can accept it, I can
: feel the sweet side of it too. It has
: a liquid golden quality.
: As per your question - what is the
: cause and how do you determine it -
: it seems that the cause of the
: phenomenon is always unprocessed
: emotions, that resolution always lies
: in acceptance, and that as we give
: our best, most open-hearted energy
: into processing, we will see more and
: more how our reactions to external
: relationships facilitate or hinder
: our efforts. Maybe as you continue
: you will be able to process more and
: will become more aware of how to most
: appropriately relate to your husband.
: My own situation is different, but I
: have been enjoying a chemistry that
: has been building with a friend, and
: the other night we agreed to explore
: it together physically. It became
: apparent that being intimate without
: being in love was, for him, at odds
: with his where his heart was truly
: at. The energy of our dynamic has
: shifted dramatically and I feel very
: sad. But I know the sadness isn't
: created by the shift; the shift is
: bringing up the sadness. As I begin
: to accept it, the way that I feel, in
: my heart, in terms of how to relate
: to him in a way that is balanced and
: respectful and honors his integrity
: and is honest, is able to blossom.
: Maybe the 'answer' lies in engaging
: in and trusting in the process while
: not yet knowing what it means in
: terms of how your relationship with
: your husband will or should evolve. ?
: Best,
: Jen
:
:
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