Posted by bob on 8/11/2004, 2:16 pm, in reply to "Re: Addiction " Well, in an ideal world, I'd say a healthy attachment is one in which there is room for both parties to be themselves with each other, accept each other [warts and all....importantly] and have room to 'move around'. For me, this would characterize most relationships from friends, family, lovers etc... Not easy though, since it asks big questions of ourselves. Still, to be human is to have flaws....sometimes....and to learn and to grow...and that's ok too. bob Although personally, I'm more interested in just letting things unfold these days and will only look at something if as you say, it gets me into trouble.
80.3.0.44
--Previous Message--
: Well, I know what you mean. But I think
: a lot of my attachments are pretty
: addictive. Maybe I should say
: "overly-attached" ..I tend
: to be obsessively attached to a lot
: of stuff, and it gets me in trouble.
: On the other hand I would welcome a
: healthy attachment ....to a mate,
: pet, friend etc. I am wondering just
: what my healthy attachments are.
But I do feel quite strongly about distinguishing attachment from addiction, since to me they are very different things.
: More later
: --Previous Message--
: : [just checking back here after some
: time]
: Congratulations on 'kicking the
: habit' Linda, I'm four years into
: being a non-smoker, and, after 25
: years a smoker, it's starting to get
: serious now :-)
: Interestingly enough, I'd say the
: energy I had invested in smoking has
: been healed only partially and the
: other 'part' has foubnd it's way into
: other addictive processes - namely
: drinking beer and cycling, which
: quite honestly is just fine at the
: moment. Hay-ho, that's life..
: But I'd like to take up the sword
: [albeit a plastic one :-)] with your
: mentioning of the word 'attachment'
: and 'addiction' in the same sentence.
: Maybe I am misunderstanding you here
: [most probably], but I see attachment
: as something completely different -
: namely a word used more in the realm
: of human relationships. I'd say we
: can never be free of dependence and
: attachment, it's what makes us human
: and what keeps us psychiatrically
: sane....now if only I could invest as
: much energy in my relationships as I
: do in my own interests I might
: actually feel more human. Lack of
: emotional attachment in infants can
: be one of the most devastating
: psychic destructions of an early
: mind, often resulting in the
: development of intense compulsive
: addictive tendencies.
: Now it's sounding like psycho-babble
: [not difficult to do with this
: stuff], and really I'm refering to
: expereinces not that removed from my
: own. I see attachment as
: intrinsically a good
: thing...essential.
: The cry often goes up that
: 'dependence' is to be avoided at all
: costs, almost like a taboo word, but
: I think it's much more complicated
: than that. I'd say that we're all so
: utterly dependent on other people
: it's not true.
: Sadly I don't practice what I preach,
: being often emotionally isolated and
: distant from intimacy...
: Anyway, rambling here....
: bob
:
: --Previous Message--
: In our society we often talk about
: those who are addicted as if some
: people have the "disease"
: and others don't. I have this working
: philosophy that we live on an
: addictive plane of existence and
: almost everyone is somewhere on the
: curve of attachment and addiction.
: You don't have to be a raging drunk
: to have be using the
: attachment/addiction process to cope
: with/suppress feelings.
: I think this work is so enlightened
: and on the cutting edge because of
: the way it deals with the attachment
: and addiction "on this
: plane".....
: As the work continues, the addictions
: loosen and heal.....but it's a
: process.
: I was able to quite smoking a year
: ago "just like
: that"....with no real trauma or
: withdrawal. It seemed like a miracles
: but I think it was a result of a year
: or so of this type of work..
: That was a big one.
:
: : :
:
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