Posted by Mikey H on 2/9/2006, 4:28 am
82.138.196.60
On reading some of the previous messages it appears that there is some confusion about physically expressing emotions i.e. crying, pounding pillows etc. Although i believe that ultimatelty the best method of managing emotions is to witness them via meditation and not respond to them , i think that this technique is quite advanced to begin with. Personally, i believe that it is important to use techniques in popular therapy such as pillow pounding, crying, raging etc and give full physical expression to emotions. Write letters, BLAME (although i reccommend on your own), shout scream, be afraid, shiver, hide. I think that it is a crucial step to give the wounded and damaged child inside of you a voice so that you can get in touch with how much it really hurts (think of how much something that you shrug off would hurt/feel to a child!!).Children often don't engage in processing meditation to resolve pain and therefore we need to relate to that part of us as you would a child. The point i am making is that it is important to get in touch with your emotions, then it is possible to develop the way you handle them over time, ie witnessing and letting them burn themselves out without reacting to them. I think a key point here is that expression of emotions is not the same as displacing them onto another person, even if you think they deserve it. If you feel that someone has wronged you then you may feel they deserve to feel the wrath of your emotions. This can be a powerful way to contact long held and deep seated emotions, beliefs and attitudes and may give you some relief as you think jusitce has been served. However, There is a skill to telling someone how you feel and that they have hurt you. In my experience this method will only be sucessful (in repairing broken relationships) if the other is open enough and cleared enough to take your "advice." Anyway the point i am trying to make here is that there are different levels to emotional clearing which vary in their effectiveness, but i think can all be helpful to getting in touch with emotions and then clearing them. Don't forget that once cleared you are not going to stop feeling and emotional "management" should commence. Anyway, that's my 2 cents. Also watch your mind as it will try to discourage you by saying things like "you're not doing it right/good enough/making a fool of yourself/this is hopeless etc etc etc. Remember the goal is progress not perfection and there is not strictly right or wrong way of healing so be easy on yourselves and try to find what suits you best (from time to time).
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