Posted by Jim on 11/24/2005, 10:38 am, in reply to "Re: Where do I go?" --Previous Message--
4.255.34.65
Good luck. Sounds like some difficult interactions you're working through. Sounds like you're doing it just fine though. What you're doing is good and has heart.
: :
: --Previous Message--
: M.,
:
: 1. Know that you will not die if you
: lose this woman.
:
: 2. The feelings you get when you
: imagine her with others are natural
: feelings that evolved to help you
: keep her away from others so you
: would know that if she is pregnant
: the baby would carry your genes. It
: is one of our strongest urges. You
: are being victimized by your
: instincts and must use intelligence
: to understand and overcome them.
:
: 3. The reason why you so intensely
: need this person is that you have a
: large container full of pain that
: you have always had, right? Being in
: love is also one of our strongest
: urges and erases the sensation of
: pain for a while. But as you can see
: it comes back. She is not causing
: your pain, you always hurt but
: sometimes you forget when she says
: she loves you. In the circumstances
: you quite naturally assume that she
: is the source of your pain. You are
: in a boiling cauldron of emotion.
: You are a bird in a wolf den. The
: wolves are your instincts and
: beliefs and the events in your life.
:
: You most likely will not be able to
: comprehend what I am saying because
: what you are going through clouds
: vision and understanding. So, follow
: my shouts and find your way out of
: the darkness:
: 1. Say to your girlfriend, "I
: love you and am incredibly gratefull
: for your prescence in my life. I am
: feeling a lot of negative emotions
: right now that I think are caused by
: you but Jim just told me that they
: come from inside myself. Would you
: do me the honor of staying by my
: side while I do some personal work?
:
: 2. Get counseling from a therapist
: you feel comfortable with. Try more
: than one. I tried 5 or 6 then found
: a great one. Believe me it's worth
: it.
:
: 3. Stick with it. You should go
: weekly for at least a month and once
: or twice a month after that.
:
: 4. Read Emotional Clearing by John
: Ruskan.
:
: Fair winds and following seas, Jim
:
: --Previous Message--
: Hello to whom ever is looking at
: these
: words right now. I’m going to be
: short and bitter. I’ve tried some
: online communities, therapy,
: meditation, inducing myself with
: drugs, increased social activity,
: and much more. The reason for
: reaching out is due to my
: bipolarity, or so they say. I’m
: twenty two years old and living with
: my partner, she is a year and a half
: older. I have lived with her for
: five months, and we have been dating
: for seven. Here is my SHOUT!!!!!!!
:
: I think I might be obsessive in
: relationships. I constantly think
: of this person, she is on my mind
: 90% of my day. When she calls, or
: writes me a text message it makes me
: very happy and excited. When she
: tells me she loves me it makes me
: float. When I’m with her I’m
: content and alive. We get along
: very well, have yet to have a fight.
: We communication to the best of our
: abilities and personalities. I am
: in love with this women and I don’t
: want to push her away.
:
: Well everything goes good up until I
: start to worry. I start to think of
: these horrible situations, I get
: these disgusting images in my head,
: thoughts that tear me apart. She
: has had a past with men, and I on
: the other hand have not had a past
: with women. I have been with 9
: women my whole life, and she will
: not expose her past. She is still
: friends with her “fuk buddy”. He
: lives far away, but they still talk.
: He is in her favorite band. She is
: bisexual and just started a job at a
: restraint where all of the servers
: are women and wear very small and
: tight clothes. I really don’t
: approve of this place because I feel
: its degrading. She picked up the
: job without talking to me about it.
: She tells me the place is not that
: great, yet rants and raves to her
: friends that its so great. I have
: told her that I need not to be a
: stupid boyfriend and also be her
: friend, so there for I shove the
: emotions I have for her working here
: inside and force myself to be ok
: with it. I do this because I know
: she is the type of girl that will do
: what ever she wants regardless what
: anyone else thinks. I am getting
: worn down and I want to make this
: work.
:
: On the level of how we are. I’m
: very open, sharing my emotions and
: displaying my feelings on a very
: advanced level. I am moody from
: time to time but I never take it out
: with anger. I only get mad when its
: needed but I am never “mean”. I’m
: energetic and spontaneous. When
: somethings bothering me I love to
: talk about it. She is a very closed
: person, rarely talking about her
: emotions, never really displaying
: her feelings. She is very stable.
: She is very strong and calm. She
: always keeps her cool, never getting
: mad or upset. She’s energetic and
: spontaneous, always taking life as
: it comes.
:
: I love this women for all her
: traits, ways and thoughts…..but I’m
: getting worn down by them. She does
: have a five year old child which we
: take care of on the week, and the
: father takes care of on the weekend.
: I do all the laundry, dishes and
: cleaning. She is very irresponsible
: and unorganized. She admits to
: being lazy and apologize for it all
: the time, and always thanks me for
: taking care of her.
:
: I’m getting worn down and I’m afraid
: to talk to her……because I think she
: wont have anything to say.
:
:
:
:
: Thank you....very much. It has been
: a few days and I am calm now. Over
: the weekend I had a problem talking
: to her. I asked her the night
: before...since she had the next day
: off, if she could just organize the
: laundry and maybe do the dishes...if
: not its cool. Well she got all
: weird and just started vigorously
: cleaning the bathroom. She wouldn’t
: even look at me, nor talk to me. I
: asked her if she was mad or bothered
: by me asking her that, she said that
: she was just upset at herself for
: never doing anything, never helping
: out. So I tried to talk to her but
: she wouldn’t say anything, she just
: blocked me out. I tried to help her
: clean and she got very irritated
: with me.....which upset me. I asked
: her if we could talk and she said
: ok. So I started talking and she
: never said anything, she never has
: any response...she bottles
: everything up inside and never talks
: about her feelings/emotions. I
: started to lose control and cry and
: just freak out. I felt so
: alone...like I was exploding with
: emotions and she just didn’t
: care...I know she did care its just
: the way she handles her
: emotions...or doesn’t handle them.
: So I knew if I just stopped and let
: it be in a day or 2 everything would
: be forgotten...and it was. We never
: yell or argue, just talk. After a
: weekend of thinking some more I came
: to a realization. Im not going to
: just pop out of this, this is
: something deep, something that took
: time to develop...I do love this
: women and she does love me. I'm not
: helplessly in love, I know we might
: not be together one day...that’s
: just life. I find great
: satisfaction that you read and
: replied....so for that I think you
: my friend.
:
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