Posted by M.King --Previous Message--
on 11/21/2005, 2:56 pm, in reply to "Re: Where do I go?"
67.100.98.200
: M.,
:
: 1. Know that you will not die if you
: lose this woman.
:
: 2. The feelings you get when you
: imagine her with others are natural
: feelings that evolved to help you
: keep her away from others so you
: would know that if she is pregnant
: the baby would carry your genes. It
: is one of our strongest urges. You
: are being victimized by your
: instincts and must use intelligence
: to understand and overcome them.
:
: 3. The reason why you so intensely
: need this person is that you have a
: large container full of pain that
: you have always had, right? Being in
: love is also one of our strongest
: urges and erases the sensation of
: pain for a while. But as you can see
: it comes back. She is not causing
: your pain, you always hurt but
: sometimes you forget when she says
: she loves you. In the circumstances
: you quite naturally assume that she
: is the source of your pain. You are
: in a boiling cauldron of emotion.
: You are a bird in a wolf den. The
: wolves are your instincts and
: beliefs and the events in your life.
:
: You most likely will not be able to
: comprehend what I am saying because
: what you are going through clouds
: vision and understanding. So, follow
: my shouts and find your way out of
: the darkness:
: 1. Say to your girlfriend, "I
: love you and am incredibly gratefull
: for your prescence in my life. I am
: feeling a lot of negative emotions
: right now that I think are caused by
: you but Jim just told me that they
: come from inside myself. Would you
: do me the honor of staying by my
: side while I do some personal work?
:
: 2. Get counseling from a therapist
: you feel comfortable with. Try more
: than one. I tried 5 or 6 then found
: a great one. Believe me it's worth
: it.
:
: 3. Stick with it. You should go
: weekly for at least a month and once
: or twice a month after that.
:
: 4. Read Emotional Clearing by John
: Ruskan.
:
: Fair winds and following seas, Jim
:
: --Previous Message--
: Hello to whom ever is looking at
: these
: words right now. I’m going to be
: short and bitter. I’ve tried some
: online communities, therapy,
: meditation, inducing myself with
: drugs, increased social activity,
: and much more. The reason for
: reaching out is due to my
: bipolarity, or so they say. I’m
: twenty two years old and living with
: my partner, she is a year and a half
: older. I have lived with her for
: five months, and we have been dating
: for seven. Here is my SHOUT!!!!!!!
:
: I think I might be obsessive in
: relationships. I constantly think
: of this person, she is on my mind
: 90% of my day. When she calls, or
: writes me a text message it makes me
: very happy and excited. When she
: tells me she loves me it makes me
: float. When I’m with her I’m
: content and alive. We get along
: very well, have yet to have a fight.
: We communication to the best of our
: abilities and personalities. I am
: in love with this women and I don’t
: want to push her away.
:
: Well everything goes good up until I
: start to worry. I start to think of
: these horrible situations, I get
: these disgusting images in my head,
: thoughts that tear me apart. She
: has had a past with men, and I on
: the other hand have not had a past
: with women. I have been with 9
: women my whole life, and she will
: not expose her past. She is still
: friends with her “fuk buddy”. He
: lives far away, but they still talk.
: He is in her favorite band. She is
: bisexual and just started a job at a
: restraint where all of the servers
: are women and wear very small and
: tight clothes. I really don’t
: approve of this place because I feel
: its degrading. She picked up the
: job without talking to me about it.
: She tells me the place is not that
: great, yet rants and raves to her
: friends that its so great. I have
: told her that I need not to be a
: stupid boyfriend and also be her
: friend, so there for I shove the
: emotions I have for her working here
: inside and force myself to be ok
: with it. I do this because I know
: she is the type of girl that will do
: what ever she wants regardless what
: anyone else thinks. I am getting
: worn down and I want to make this
: work.
:
: On the level of how we are. I’m
: very open, sharing my emotions and
: displaying my feelings on a very
: advanced level. I am moody from
: time to time but I never take it out
: with anger. I only get mad when its
: needed but I am never “mean”. I’m
: energetic and spontaneous. When
: somethings bothering me I love to
: talk about it. She is a very closed
: person, rarely talking about her
: emotions, never really displaying
: her feelings. She is very stable.
: She is very strong and calm. She
: always keeps her cool, never getting
: mad or upset. She’s energetic and
: spontaneous, always taking life as
: it comes.
:
: I love this women for all her
: traits, ways and thoughts…..but I’m
: getting worn down by them. She does
: have a five year old child which we
: take care of on the week, and the
: father takes care of on the weekend.
: I do all the laundry, dishes and
: cleaning. She is very irresponsible
: and unorganized. She admits to
: being lazy and apologize for it all
: the time, and always thanks me for
: taking care of her.
:
: I’m getting worn down and I’m afraid
: to talk to her……because I think she
: wont have anything to say.
:
:
:
:
Thank you....very much. It has been a few days and I am calm now. Over the weekend I had a problem talking to her. I asked her the night before...since she had the next day off, if she could just organize the laundry and maybe do the dishes...if not its cool. Well she got all weird and just started vigorously cleaning the bathroom. She wouldn’t even look at me, nor talk to me. I asked her if she was mad or bothered by me asking her that, she said that she was just upset at herself for never doing anything, never helping out. So I tried to talk to her but she wouldn’t say anything, she just blocked me out. I tried to help her clean and she got very irritated with me.....which upset me. I asked her if we could talk and she said ok. So I started talking and she never said anything, she never has any response...she bottles everything up inside and never talks about her feelings/emotions. I started to lose control and cry and just freak out. I felt so alone...like I was exploding with emotions and she just didn’t care...I know she did care its just the way she handles her emotions...or doesn’t handle them. So I knew if I just stopped and let it be in a day or 2 everything would be forgotten...and it was. We never yell or argue, just talk. After a weekend of thinking some more I came to a realization. Im not going to just pop out of this, this is something deep, something that took time to develop...I do love this women and she does love me. I'm not helplessly in love, I know we might not be together one day...that’s just life. I find great satisfaction that you read and replied....so for that I think you my friend.
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