Posted by bj on January 24, 2012, 8:28 pm
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First and foremost ty all for you concerns.
Since the surgeries in October, it has been one thing after the other. Still not well. BUT two steps forward and one back.
I think of all of you but lately just a little too much to sit and type so much and the littel time I do spend on the puter, I go onto FB since I can see and contact my loved ones.
I really did everything to help this whatever I have. The fluid in my ears is filling up as we speak. I take a shower and it gets worse. BUT am better.
Want to bring something up that disturbed me deeply. Sure the sleep depravation did not help matters. I was hacking all night dn cuold not lie down. Not a good upright sleeper either.
I have been to the doctor, ER, urgent care and spent every penny( not extra money- bill money) on homeopathic remedies as rx'd by my CAM. Even did antibiotics. Don't ask!
Without getting into a long story- my CAM always relates to me as the cancer this and the cancer that. She rx's my mistletoe adn my LDN so I do not want to lose her. While I know the hgh risk I am, I don't need to hear itm especially while sick and even more vulnerable. BUT on top of that, she said something that, like I said distubed me deeply.
Whatever the conversation was about- I ended up saying to her, "y do u always bring up the cancer?" I thought that after almost ten yrs it was pretty much behind me." She said almost nastily, "Behind you? Not with Breast Cancer!. It could come back even twenty years from now." I started crying(I was really frustrated and exhausted and very very sick). I said , "You are really freaking me out, to which she replied, "Well do what you have to do... Cry your head off. Punch a pillow....." She left me in such a spiraling depression. WT- you know what???
sooo.... my question to you is this: What is your opinion on this subject?" I have heard everything from - it is never out of your systema and WILL come back- only a mattter of time, to after five years it is a new cancer,. change your lifestyle and u will be fine, to ten years, to pretty much anything you can imagine.
My oncologist told me that the further you are away from the onset without recurrence- the better and less chance of recurrence. Even insurance companies will pick you up after being clean for ten years! I thought was sitting kind of pretty finally. I know some have had recurrences even after 10 and maybe I am trying to cope in my own way.
Again, I thank each of you from the bottom of my heart but hey- most of you know my email address. TY for writing Cheryl. I know some of u r freaky about phone calls but I have given my number as well. Just sayin'
Don't want to get into all of that but it is how I feel.
xo
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