To point a finger at the ridiculousness of our society's tendency to value "inclusiveness" over personal freedom, I wrote a song that offers a tip of my Santa hat to each of the following holiday celebrations: Hannakuh, Ramadan, Kwanza and Christmas. So for those of you who just can't abide a "Merry Christmas", I'd like to wish you a "Happy HanuRamaKwanzMas."
HAVE A HANURAMAKWANZMAS
To the tune of “Have A Holly Jolly Christmas” by Johnny Marks © 1962
Parody lyrics by Bob Haworth © 2007 Three Cats Music, BMI
HAVE A HANURAMAKWANZMAS
BE POLITICALLY CORRECT THIS YEAR
WE MUST NOT OFFEND OUR DIVERSE FRIENDS
WITH WORDS THEY SHOULDN’T HEAR
HAPPY HANURAMAKWANZMAS
THAT’S THE WAY TO SAFELY GREET
MUSLIMS, JEWS & AFRICANS TOO
OR ANY CHRISTIANS YOU MAY MEET
OH, HO, TODAY YOU KNOW YOU’VE GOT TO BE PC
SO YOU DON’T TICK SOMEBODY OFF - NOW REPEAT AFTER ME
HAPPY HANURAMAKWANZMAS
YOU CAN SAY IT WITHOUT FEAR
OH BY GOLLY HAVE A HANURAMAKWANZMAS THIS YEAR
HAPPY HANURAMAKWANZMAS
IT’S AN ALL-INCLUSIVE PHRASE
ALL YOUR FRIENDS WILL SEE THAT YOU’RE PC
WHEN IT COMES TO THE HOLIDAYS
HAPPY HANURAMAKWANZMAS
& YOU’LL HAVE NO REGRETS
THAT IS UNLESS SOME ATHIEST DECIDES TO BE UPSET
IT’S HANUKKAH, RAMADAN, KWANZA & CHRISTMAS TOO
THIS WAY YOU WON’T GET BUSTED BY THE ACLU
HAPPY HANURAMAKWANZMAS
JUST SAY IT LOUD & CLEAR
OH BY GOLLY HAVE A HANURAMAKWANZMAS THIS YEAR
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