My parody is based on the song, “SOUTH OF THE BORDER” © 1939 - Kennedy & Carr. I borrowed the intro from the original version, which starts: “AY – AY – AY – AY, AY – AY – AY – AY (2X)” Surely this isn’t racist or the original song would have been banned already. Now my parody begins: NORTH OF THE BORDER – UP DENVER WAY OK – here I’m setting up my hypothetical story. No, this incident didn’t occur, but by virtue of my right to poetic license, I’ve created a fictitious scenario to tell my story. Second verse: “PIZZA FOR PESOS” READ THE SIGN ON THE DOOR OK, the first line of this verse is actually true. Meri and I drove down to Pizza Patron at Alameda and Sheridan in Lakewood and saw the actual sign, which also says, “Aceptamos Pesos.” The next three lines are a continuation of my fictitious story, as I have the person behind the counter explaining this new policy to me. Again, fictitious and exaggerated. It’s a parody, a caricature if you will, of the actual situation. Sure, they take dollars there, too, and some of the employees there actually speak English. But I take the story a step further by hypothesizing that it could come to the point in our country where we have a dual monetary system, which I believe would be an even more serious step toward dividing our country. You quote from One Respe that racism divides community. I submit to you that a dual monetary system and a bilingual society are also divisive. More on that in a moment. So now I get to the first two lines of the bridge of the song: PLEASE DON’T WORRY ABOUT THE EXCHANGE RATE Here I’m poking a little fun at the whole concept of using a foreign monetary system. In this establishment, I hypothesize, the only currency of value is pesos. A lot of this, too, has to do with creating rhymes to set up the next two lines. IF YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND LET ME TRANSLATE: These two lines are innocuous enough, but serve to lead me into the last verse: “PIZZA FOR PESOS” AND NOW THAT I KNOW Here, I’m pretty much laying it out that I’m not in favor of having a divisive dual monetary system in our country. Pesos belong in Mexico. Here we use dollars and cents. My last line states that I think the policy should be scrapped. There is nothing here that is intended to offend or hurt anybody in any way. Please tell me how this is hurtful to you. Beyond the implied statement I’m making about my own opinion on this matter, this is a funny song. People laugh when I play it. Oh, sure, they get my point, too, but my point is made in a light-hearted manner and is not in any way mean-spirited. In some of my other songs I’ve addressed the issue of bilingualism. To me, language is the one thing that unites us as a country. If I can’t communicate with you, we have a barrier between us. That divides us as a nation between those who speak one language and those who speak another. I would maintain that those who come here and insist on speaking their native tongue are the racists. If you want to become an American, learn our language. As far as I know, it’s still a requirement for U.S. citizenship that you learn English, or as I call it, Americanese. Now, the way things are going, I can see the day when that requirement will be dropped. That will probably happen on the day that The United States of America gives up its sovereignty and becomes part of Mexamericanada, or part of a Whole World Nation of some sort. But for now, it’s a requirement for citizenship. Bilingualism is a divisive practice, as much so as any racist action or thought. I invite you again to read Teddy Roosevelt’s statement above. To me, this says it better than anything. And if you disagree with that, then in my opinion, you are un-American and I, for one, am ashamed of you! I look forward to your response. Oh, and by the way, thanks for the happy birthday wish – I hope it was sincere!
I TOOK A BREAK FOR LUNCH
AND WENT OUT TO GRAB A PIZZA ONE DAY
BUT I COULDN’T BELIEVE IT WHEN IT CAME TIME TO PAY
I STOOD THERE DUMBFOUNDED IN SHOCK AND DISMAY
NO HABLA INGLESE
AND YOUR GRINGO MONEY’S NO GOOD ANYMORE
DIG DEEP IN YOUR POCKETS, ‘CAUSE NOW YOU MUST PAY
FOR PIZZA WITH PESOS – LET’S ALL SHOUT “OLE!”
'CAUSE YOUR DOLLARS - THEY’RE NOT WORTH BEANS
“ACEPTAMOS PESOS” WHICH MEANS
MAYBE I’LL GO FOR LUNCH
SOMEPLACE THAT TAKES AMERICAN DOUGH
THIS IS AMERICA – NOT MEXICO
THIS PIZZA FOR PESOS THING HAS JUST GOT TO GO
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