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Posted by taiwanliving on April 15, 2005, 8:56 am, in reply to "Miserable"
Well, as you well know, this is just an opinion, but A) you managed to get someone you've been after for a long time and now you're cluing into the reality that she might not be a very nice person. It appears like she may have decided to settle for you: you're a provider, she was knocked up and realized you were a great meal ticket. It's extremely painful to realize you've been used, but that's exactly what you're being treated like. B) You're bending over backwards trying to plase her, and it only perpeptuates the "lap dog" dorrmat that she perceives you as being. Should you suddenly turn into a cold-hearted grinch and turn her away? No. Not necessarily, but take a break from yourself and try to change your pattern of behavior for a while. Maybe even have a literal vacation by yourself for a day... take a drive to a spot you find restful and have some quiet time to think out your feelings. You can also consider suggesting that she return part-time to work and but the kids in day-care/hire a nanny. C) Maybe she also is really JUST TIRED. She just pumped out 2 kids in 3 years and many women behave differently to childbirth... she might even be experiencing post-partum depression. Keep in mind that she married YOU, no the other guy. Money isn't everything... she could be just bored and having you jump down her throat about a guy that's no longer in the picture isn't helping. Work 5 days a week and try to involve yourself in quality time with your family versus throwing money and material objects at her. Try to get a more social hobby to that encourages healthy interacting that could stimulate libido (like dancing). The real answer to your misery isn't sought in obtaining agreement of your situation and gaining confirmation from others... it's in communication with your wife that doesn't involve accusations and hightened emotions. But before you seek marital counselling, try to check if first you could possibly be unfair to your spouse and judging her too harshly and have a chat with her without the money throwing or the emotional mindgames you're playing.
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