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Posted by gin on December 4, 2004, 11:02 am I was pleased overall with the finished product (we feared it could The "spin" makes me angry. It just proves their intent was never The first episode was awful. After seeing that, I immediately If you are entertaining the idea of doing this, please be aware that
Based on our experience doing Episode #8 for Diary of an Affair, I
am trying to get the word out to others what can happen and exactly
what their rights are once they've told their story. I am posting
this on every infidelity board/group I can find in hopes of
educating other couples which may be recruited for future episodes
(they're recruiting for season #2 now).
be so much worse after seeing some other episodes), and I suppose
with only 30 minutes to work with, they did a decent job of telling
our story. However, they did do exactly what we feared in one
instance. During the interviews, they kept trying to get Brian to
say how "exciting" the sex was with Jennifer (not her real name),
and he kept stopping them and adamantly saying "But it wasn't! It
was the worse sex I've ever experienced. I only kept going back
because I thought there was something wrong with me because I
thought I should be enjoying something that was so wrong." Almost
immediately afterward, the producer said, "Describe what the sex was
like with Ginger when you guys first got together." His answer was
inserted to describe his affair. Thank goodness I was here to
witness that whole exchange. The producer/interviewer even
commented on how careful Brian was to not say anything racy, despite
his continual efforts to do so. The closest Brian got was to
say "It was exciting because I was doing something I wasn't supposed
to be doing. But the sex was just strictly business, almost
animalistic." In fact, during the taping, he went on to say
something to the effect of "It makes me sound like a horrible
person, but "she" was just a disposable human being. She could have
been killed in an accident leaving the hotel, and I wouldn't have
felt anything." I guess they didn't want to hear a description that
doesn't glamorize an affair.
really to tell an accurate variety of stories in hopes of helping
others in this situation. I would hate to think what might have
happened had I not been in the room during that conversation and
first heard it on TV along with everyone else. I would have never
have taken his word for it if I hadn't witnessed it myself. They
don't seem to get how fragile marriages are that have survived
something like this. Or, if they do get it, the ratings and dollar
signs far outweigh the detrimental effects to the participants. The
disclaimers pretty much protect them and give them the right to do
anything they choose for "artistic and creative emphasis", and we
have zero rights...not even the right to see it prior to the general
public (probably for exactly this reason). I understand rearranging
the chronological order of comments to get the story told and
compress it into a time restraint, but to take something that was
said about one person and apply it to another (essentially, THE
ENEMY) is sort of like reporting that one candidate for president
did something and giving his adversary the credit for it. It's just
flat wrong.
started freaking out and I specifically worried that they would do
exactly what they did. I exchanged several e-mails with them in the
weeks following that first episode communicating our fears and they
continually reassured us that they would not do that and that we
would be pleased with the outcome. I have at least a half dozen
e-mails stating that our story would not be changed and that is
exactly what has happened. Even the producer/interviewer
commented that he couldn't "get" Brian to say anything racy
and called Jane Shayne the evening of the first filming with us to
ask if the "hot lines" were actually said by Brian in his phone
interview. At least she was honest enough to tell him "no, but
she just assumed that it must have been that way". Still, they felt
the need to insert something that was said about SOMEONE ELSE
in to describe his affair.
this kind of thing can happen and be sure that your marriage is
strong enough to withstand it should it happen.
Ginger Davis
405-373-4490
davisfamily5@access4less.net
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