Posted by Annelie on May 20, 2009, 4:02 am, in reply to "Re: Phobias"
Hey there,
I am very much aware of what a Phobia feels like since I have been suffering from a severe height phobia before ACE (and I still am in some situations). So I know that this is not just a fear but a serious phobia with all kinds of horrible emotions.
But I want to encourage you. The important part is that you don't push yourself too hard because you might end up getting traumatized through that.
It is perfectly ok to say if you don't feel comfortable handling a situation. No one will rip your head of. Ace prefers people saying if they are uncomfortable about something.
I would suggest that during the beginning of each project (during you first safety meeting, when it comes to spiders and co.) you will shortly explain to the others that you have a phobia that is beyond the normal fear of what others might feel around spider (this occasional shiver) and that you hope the others will understand and not laugh about you if you can't go to close to a spider and you maybe just wanna switch place with someone. Being open in this case is probably the best and also your supervisor will know about this which is good and very helpful.
The other advice is to be patient. If you challenge yourself a little bit (but not too much!) more from time to time you will hopefully get a good result. as you probably know, phobias are irrational fear so it doesn't help if others try to convince you that spiders won't hurt you (if you are careful and don't threaten them). An irrational fear cannot be "cured" by rational matters. You must respond in a different way.
If you feel the fear taking over: diverse yourself! Do whatever but do something. Breath in and out, sing a song, laugh, talk about something else. Do whatever you can to break through the cycle of fear (and don't worry about what others may think. It's hard to understand for people that have never experienced extreme fear of something, what your are going through). Understand that if you feel phobic: there is no real danger. You just feel this way (although there is sometimes a slight chance of danger if you are not careful but I am sure you will be more careful than anyone else about this 
And as Chris said, there has never been anything serious in the past concerning spiders.
I don't know if it helps you but for me it always helped (e.g. when skiing)to only focus on the next step (the part that lies right in front of me and not beyond that). I find step-to-step-handling very helpful. For example I ask myself: can I make until the next curve (usually yes) and so on. I don't know if you can transfer that to a spider phobia but if the fear comes try to stop and ask yourself (can I stand here without being endangered? Can I handle this situation until a certain distance toward the spider? Can I handle going one step closer? And so on..). And what also helped me was the thought "if others can do it and nothing happens I can do that to" (worked miracles when crossing a bridge (told myself all I had to do is just walk like the others and I knew I can WALK).
You should try to picture worst case scenarios for yourself (before you go on project) and prepare resolutions for those so that you can just pick them up in any kind of situation (maybe imagine real situations and practice your individual resolutions before you come to ACE because as you may know - it is hard to think clearly during panic). It is better if you don't first have to think about what your resolution was but if you have trained it well enough to have one possible resolution coming to your head automatically.
Anyways, I hope everything will be alright for you and that I could help a little. Phobias can be a real b###h but they can also be (self)treated. And don't forget "the more you diverse yourself the less chance you give the fear to grow".
All the best for your stay and I am sure you will rock! Thumbs up from me for your courage of writing about your fear. You see, no need to worry. People will understand and if they don't it's their own problem.
Annelie
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