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Posted by josef on 10/25/2007, 8:41 am He's been difficult and bizarre, but it's escalating badly now, and quickly, and he seems to be headed for a complete meltdown. With his sweet,long-suffering wife clearly at risk. At one time he planned to burn the house down with his wife in it then commit suicide. Why he isn't institutionalized escapes me. As everyone here knows mind is the most fascinating subject to me, so my experience of John has been an astonished first-hand look at how hay-wired mind can be. I've tried to discern if all of his obnoxious behavior is attributed to mental illness; where just personality disorder, being a ratty egotistical selfish person, ends and mental illness, beyond his control, begins. I've known severely mentally ill people who hadn't a meanness in them. This man is so clearly and fully in the bardo-hell of egoism it seems nothing would be beyond him *if he felt like it*. Others have no value to him beyond foils for his amusement or fury, or audience to his ebullience. For the first time in a long time I'm looking at a situation I feel very unsure about. He's situationally in our face right now. I'm concerned about his wife. It's going very bad, very fast. She's been in tears and mentioned quietly he's just getting worse. She also is intelligent, educated, they have money; she could leave if she wanted. Right? But 43 years with him, maybe she isn't able, is fearful of what he'd do, I don't know. Following Tao, (principle non-interference) I normally don't give a thought to involving myself with others' problems unless specifically asked for help. This seems confusing, though. I'm concerned about her. My wise friends here, what do you think? Leave it alone, or talk with her about her options, offer her safe haven if she needs, etc.? She's very intelligent, educated, has money, and has somehow managed with him for 43 years, maybe it would be crossing a line to speak to her this way. Any words of wisdom and insight welcome. josef
24.32.223.X
Fate has put us, my husband & I, square in the path of someone who is (clinically diagnosed) bi-polar and obsessive-compulsive. In his mid-60's, very intelligent, educated, he is aggressively loud, demanding, engages in non-stop raving (I do mean non-stop...can and does go on without break for hours), must be the center of attention at all times, makes scenes wherever he goes and delights in the consternation he causes, nags/orders around/belittles/berates/insults his wife in front of others. He has a shrink. His meds give him physical symptoms he won't tolerate, so now he doesn't take them. He is grandiose in the extreme. He's everything in the extreme. (He tried to buy us a $13,000.00 fishing boat...just because my husband had mentioned he liked it.) He boasted enthusiastically to me yesterday during lunch that he slaps his wife of 43 years, and was surprised and disappointed I didn't share in his delight and admiration of that.
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"The Tao is basically utterly open. Utter openeness has no substance. It ends in endlessness, begins in beginninglessnes".
-Li Daoqun
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