Posted by Sharky on 28/5/2003, 10:34 am
Message modified by board administrator 28/5/2003, 10:42 am

The Pentagon has reacted swiftly to the threat of immortal mice that looks set to clash with US foreign policy interests. The Whitehouse issued a statement that indicated that the Bush administration views any immortal beings, particularly those who threaten global capitolism (such as the mice plaguing Idonesian shopkeepers) would have to answer to US justice sooner or later. Staunch ally of Bush's, Tony Blair, pledged yesterday to offer any military assitance within the UK's power to meet the threat of weapons of mice destruction. The two countries are to outline plans of their own to combat the threat of the mice. It is thought that top Whitehall and Washinton figures are considering a plan to send the West's only immortal beings into battle with the Indonesian mice. The reanimation of American rock and roll singer Elvis Pressley and British puppet genius Rod Hull was completed in a secret lab in Colorado on Tuesday evening, and scientists report that they came back into the world with a vengeance, hungy for mouse blood. Elvis has experience of military service from the Vietnam war and Rod has an emu on his arm that would scare the bejaysus out of even the hardiest of rodents. Top US death fungus expert Dr Fondu Wokpocket, of the Colorado Reanimation Labs reported spectacular progress of the two subjects: "Elvis woke from the slab and silently donned his famous white catsuit, muttered 'I thangyouverr much' and strolled out of the room, pausing only to pick up an automatic weapon from the rack by the door" he said, "and Rod merely asked what the final score was in the United match. We told him they lost just to bring out the mouse hatred in him." The two reanimated celebrities are on board a military jet bound for Indonesia as I write these words. And the hopes of the free world that this immortal mouse foe be bested flies with them. God bless our boys. Meanwhile, prophecies from an ancient Polynesian religion that a fat man in white and a man with a bird for an arm would come back from the dead to rid the world of immortal rodents has been dismissed by skeptics as a 'lucky guess'.