- Immortal mice to solve energy crisis?
Posted by Smokin' A Blunt on 27/5/2003, 10:26 pm, in reply to "Death Fungus Spreading - Is Immortality Contageous?" In a development with fantastic implications for humanity, the Jakartan Immortal Mice may be harnessed to drive the worlds first ever perpetual motion machines, reports our Indonesian correspondent Sum Dum Fuk. One immortal mouse could run around for evermore without needing to stop for food or water. When inside a traditional mouse exercise wheel attached to turbines and generators, this might produce a never ending supply of electricity. Indeed in a laboratory test conducted recently, one mouse running for 10 hours successfully generated enough energy to fatally electrocute Paul Daniels. Using Daniels ears and these mice, we now have the power to graft the biggest ear ever on to a mouse a scientist beamed shortly afterwards. Which would look real funny!. A heated debate then ensued, before the scientists voted instead to build electricity generators to end the world energy crisis. This defeated the humorous ear on a mouse plan by 5 votes to 4. Shortly afterwards, in an ominous development in the US, George W Bush announced plans to invade Jakarta, warning "We must liberate this new energy source, I mean, erm, the people of Jakarta, from this evil regime."
Daniels agreed to the experiment after it was explained this would be his greatest escape act yet; namely to die, but then be revived by the healing fungus. Although there was more than enough laughter from the scientists observing his death throes to suggest the reanimation promise may have been something of a fib.
The Jakartan President Ernst Blofeld immediately scorned Bushes motives for invasion, claiming You only love mice, Mr Bush.
The American public, whilst also cynical of Bushs motives, support a bid to liberate the Immortal mice, in case Jakarta has developed Weapons Of Mice Destruction.
However whoever eventually owns the new energy source still has no 100% guarantee it will work, as no-one knows whether the mice will eventually get bored with running around in circles for ever more.
Its hard for the layman to imagine just how boring eternity might be, a boffin explained, but it would be not dissimilar to watching Kevin Costners Field of Dreams twice.
