Posted by Ad on 27/5/2003, 2:14 pm, in reply to "Death Fungus Committe In Squabbles"

Rumours suggesting that Gary Gotcha is the world’s first immortal have sparked riots across the world and brought the religion vs. science debate into uncharted territory. Questions arising from the testing of the death fungus have created a tidal wave of speculation. There have been no official test results of any form concerning the substance and no comment has been made about who or what the fungus has been tested on. Many believe that Gotcha is immortal after he was hit by the London-to-Brighton train earlier today and walked away with minor cuts and bruises. The train was travelling at 90mph. Gotcha was “off his head on pills and vodka” at the time and the government explanation that it was the “large amount of ecstasy in his blood stream” that saved his life has created a massive backlash by anti-drug campaigners. In the few hours since the event the sales of the drug have tripled although some reporters believe that this could be down to the Reading festival. Every religion has condemned the death fungus as ‘unholy and evil’. The Pope addressed the world leaders earlier today and stated that “Any substance that holds within the power of God and the gift of life should only be held by the representatives of God – such as myself. My God is the only true God by the way. The death fungus, like sperm, is holy but in the wrong hands it can be an instrument of evil. Give me the f*ckin fungus or witness the Armageddon Old Testament style”. A new religion calling themselves the “Gotchas” have rapidly grown. They celebrate immortality though fungus, drugs, vodka and getting’ it on. World Leaders have neglected to answer questions about the religious versus science debate suggesting that they had far more important questions to broach. “These corpses aren’t gonna resurrect themselves” said Colon Powel.