Posted by Ad on 27/5/2003, 12:58 pm, in reply to "Resuscitation List Poll Conducted"

The controversial British television show "Back from the Dead" was shadowed this evening by a production by its transatlantic neighbour. Four television networks combined to provide the biggest TV debate in the history of the world. CNN, Sky, Fox Network and Bellstar came together and produced a four-hour special that received 40 million votes from around the world. The vote decided the top 10 list that will be put forward to the World Assembly on Monday on behalf of America. No one was more surprised than Muhammad Ali himself to find his name at the number four spot. He made no comment – just sat there staring at the TV. Cynical British commentators were surprised to find two politicians in the top ten. Abraham Lincoln and John F Kennedy reached positions 9 and 3. Leading academics were quick to point out that Kennedy “probably wouldn’t” know who shot him as the marksman was “a great distance away”. Bud Kelvar, head of the CIA, stated “Poor bastard didn’t know what hit him. Boom, dead”. Marilyn Monroe came in at number two, beaten by fellow entertainer Elvis Presley. President Bush was quick to defend accusations that a large percentage of the death fungus was being made available for auction to leading businessman and politicians and leaders. He personally verified that the material was being handled, stored and secured in an agreeable manner and that the scheme was not open to any form of corruption. No more is known about the mysterious material. The exact quantity and nature is still a mystery. Everyone who has come into contact with the substance has been silenced and taken away for questioning by the American government or in some cases have been found dead from tragic accidents.