Posted by Sharky on 27/5/2003, 11:35 am, in reply to "Cure for death discovered"

Last night's ITV show "Back from the Dead" has provoked angry discussions and heated exchanges this morning, since the ITV viewing public controversially voted to bring Rod Hull back to life as one of the world's ten resuscitees. Academics and art lovers view the poll as a wasted chance to bring back a gifted individual from history, but the ITV viewers disagreed. In a huge telephone poll, which saw lines jammed for five hours before the midnight deadline, an estimated 15 million viewers phoned their choices in to the ITV call centre. A large screen in the studio relayed the voting drama back to the nation, who watched transfixed as such luminaries as Dustin Gee, Benny Hill, Marti Cain and Larry Grayson scrapped for the number one spot, only to be pipped at the post by a late surge from puppet master Rod Hull. Professor Randolph P. Spongedecimal of Oxford University's historical personality resuscitation panel criticised the choice to grant ITV viewers the choice for the UK's allotted recipient of the death cure on the grounds that he didn't believe that the primetime Saturday night viewing public was uniquely qualified to choose one tenth of the world's revivals. "The choices were shit," he summarised, "Not one of them deserved to be brought back! Where were Brunel, Shakespeare, Briton, Milton, Keytes, Byron or Churchill?" Regarding the eventual choice, Rod Hull, Spongedecimal had little other to say of him other than that he was a 'cunt' who deserved to be dead for falling off his roof trying to adjust his aerial during that Man United game a couple of years ago. He also questioned whether Benny Hill is even dead yet, but admitted he would have to check that one. But, criticisms aside, Hull will become the UK's choice for revival, joining the list of names put forward by other nations, unless his choice is vetoed by higher powers. Critics must satisfy themselves with the fact that at least Jim Davidson is still alive and therefore wasn't eligible for immortality.