- Cure for death discovered
Posted by Ad on 27/5/2003, 10:11 am Top scientists have spent two weeks and millions of pounds trying to recreate the fungus but a vital ingredient seems to be missing. The scientists have been ordered to save a small sample and stop research immediately by the European Court under strict supervision and military threat from the USA. It has been calculated that there is enough Death Cure left to bring back ten adult humans. In an unorthodox move the first ever World Assembly has been put together. The Assembly has created to vote on which ten people should be brought back to life. A democratic bid, sponsored by Nokia and Sky One, for the worlds population to vote on a Top 100 People to Bring Back from the Dead has been over-ruled by everyone and anyone with a spec of intelligence. The World Assembly is made up of every country of the world except for Iraq, Iran, Syria, Persia, France, Cuba, France again, North Korea, and 134 other countries. It will meet on Friday to discuss the list. Each member will bring a list of ten people that they wish to have brought back from the dead. There have been restrictions made leaders such as Hitler, Stalin and other such arses have not been vetoed from the list but the USA have warned that if they are reincarnated they will be tried for War Crimes immediately. Bush made this statement yesterday, The death list is the most contested document ever written in the history of writing. Nobodys name is set in stone: Apart from Elvis. Elvis is coming back no matter what those foreign bastards say. The list will be published very soon with reasons behind each choice.
13.45 Thursday 6th May. Bubbenhall. A-Level student Gary Gotcha has astounded the world and changed the course of world history by discovering the cure for death. In a string of events mimicking his scientific predecessor Louis Pasteur, Gary initiated an experiment to find the pH value of a peanut using Sciebos Junior Chemistry Set 13b a couple of days before going on holiday to Crete. The experiment was a failure and Gary packed the experiment away but failed to clean the petri dishes properly. When he returned he was amazed to discover a strange fungus like material growing from the remnants of his experiment. It didnt take him long to realise that the fungus was the long awaited cure for death.
