Posted by Windstorm (aka Seapoet) on 5/21/2002, 11:24 am I'd like to point out something that I've noticed in a lot of poems these days....the use of the word "scream". It is quite overused and I find that a few people use it for a filler when they'd rather not spend the time to look for a more fitting word. It just stood out when I read it. Your poem has a lot of meat to it but I think maybe it is a bit broken. It doesn't seem to flow. You need to go and fix the punctuation. You've forgotten quite a few periods and some question marks. I don't see too much use of comma. Oh well...you were the first I critiqued this morning and I hope you don't take it personally. : )
This poem obviously is emotionally charged from your personal experience? Your message comes through clearly enough.
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