Posted by bobby1776
on September 1, 2009, 1:28 am
Thought this was lost forever. Lost "more than a hundred" poems when an encrypted server switchover lost them. Tragic.
You "Ole Tymers" laffed your butts off at this, but my spycam reveals that those butts grew back big time.
So in the interest of kindness, here's the ole Texas Chili poem from about July 2000:
CHILI:
One upon a time, in a mild and sunny clime
A hunger, a pang in my tum.
I mixed me some beans, garlic and greens
Hot cayenne, red onion, yes, some.
It cooked on the stove, while I walked me a rove
It simmered and bubbled and shook
It cooled, I ate bowls, till my tummy had holes
That last bowl I should have forsook!!
That chow swirled and expanded, like the Marines had just landed..
inside my now rising tum
And now came the worst, thought my bottom would burst
my prospects for "quiet" looked glum.
I knew I couldn't giggle, cause there came a faint wiggle
(without having troubles galore)
And so , with a shrug, I pushed in a plug
To not have that "tickle" no more.
Butt that didn't do it, still had to pursue it
the pressure was mounting inside
So I jumped on a horse, to blame him, of course
for any loud noises to hide
The horse wanted to trot, I knew I could not
take bouncing....oh gee.....tried to squeeze
the bottom, the guts. A "rumble?"....."Oh nuts!!"
I felt the nose-tickle of "sneeze".
Kaboom went the slug, which before was my plug
and it traveled like ammo from Glock
Went through two oak trees, rick o shayed through the breeze
I watched all transfixed and in shock
Though the whole thing was brief, it brought instant relief
I could think straight and breathe and nice stuff
So when hunger pangs come, I will simply sip some
pure water, and say: "This is enough !!"
El Bobby
2000
93
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