THE RECOVERY GROUP MESSAGE BOARD: Re: The 4th Step and self-image

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Re: The 4th Step and self-image

Posted by Brenda on 9/22/2006, 2:29 pm, in reply to "The 4th Step and self-image"
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I look at my weight.... pound for pound every unkind word, every mistake, every misfortune etc...... That was an awful lot of baggage to carry around. On day someone said to me...... When your child does something wrong and your discipline them for it .... do you continue to punish them day in and day out for the mistake they did that one time.... my answer was of course not. Then she asked me why I continue to punish my self over and over and over again for something I did a gazillion years ago. That made sense to me, it helped to me let go of some of the past stuff.
The fourth step is meant to look at your good points as well as to identify areas that you can improve in, it is not meant to make your life worse. In all of our negative thought process we forget that underneath all of the stuff we are kind, caring, compassionate and loving people who just want to be acknowledge that way instead of the way we look. Personally, I am 50 years old and my family still remembers me as the little shit when I was a kid, they dont even know me today ... but I have come to realize that that is their problem not theirs.
I try to focus on what I can do to improve my life for me, one day at a time, one minute at a time and one meal at a time. I find that the love that is in these rooms is a tool for healing the past hurts.
It is best to have a sponsor when doing your step work to help you through the process. \
By the way you will do more than one 4th step in your life, it is a process of getting to know who you are and their are many layers.
Love you
Brenda
--Previous Message--
: Hi There...
: I joined OA when my medication had
: first stabilized my depression and I
: was starting to feel better. I was
: working the program until I reached
: the 4th step. Because of my low
: self-esteem and knowledge that I
: alone am responsible for the bad
: decisions in my life, and for all my
: resentments, I found this step to be
: completely debilitating. I didn't
: mean to beat myself up, but going
: through this step made me feel
: terrible about myself, adn cemented
: all my bad feelings. I eventually
: left the rooms because of this,
: despite the love and support of my
: fellow sufferers.
: As a person suffering from
: depression - low self-esteem, maybe
: even self-hatred, or at the very
: least, self-dislike - how did you
: get through this step? I read the
: description of how one does the 4th
: Step on this site, but even doing
: that raised fears of the process and
: the beginning of bad feelings...
: I know the depression distorts my
: view of myself; I'm once again
: stable on my meds and am abstinent
: for today. But I want to make a
: fundamental change in my
: relationship with food...how do I
: get through this step? How did you
: do it?
: Thanks so much...
: