THE RECOVERY GROUP MESSAGE BOARD: Re: The 4th Step and self-image

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Re: The 4th Step and self-image

Posted by Marie on 9/16/2006, 10:28 am, in reply to "Re: The 4th Step and self-image"
69.177.102.108

Hi Diana,
Thanks so much for your response...
I did go through the 4th step with my sponsor, once upon a time... I
did see that one of my faults is that I hold myself to unreasonable
standards that I would never subject anyone else to, and I judge myself
far more harshly than is reasonable, far more harshly than I would ever
judge anyone else. I knew the main person I needed to make amends to
was myself. But this realization, along with my other very real failings
and character defects, just solidified my poor opinion of myself. I
know this step can be an awakening for some, but for me it just became a
part of the downward spiral...

I have just realized (well!) that although I "officially" moved on, I
never really got out of the 4th step. What a long, dark journey it has
been... holding people at arms length, believing terrible things about
myself, hiding, wasting my life. I am slowly accepting that to survive
I need to let go and make amends to myself. I'm holding on to the fact
that I am making progress, as painful as it is. I'm starting to learn
how to replace the food with actual people, I'm starting to reach out.
I'm getting strong enough to have hope, and to persist in having the
hope, that I just might get beyond this point.

It's good not to feel so alone - thank you.
I thank all of you!
M

--Previous Message--
: Dear Marie,
: I am very sorry you have had to
: struggle with the challanges of
: depression. Howeverk it is possible
: to get through this Fourth Step. The
: first thing I suggest you do is
: realize that the only reason we hurt
: others and mistakes is because we
: ourselves our damaged. You must
: realize and emphasize to yourself
: you are going forward on the steps
: to recovery and healing. You should
: be proud of yourself for doing this.
: It is also important for you realize
: how important it is for each of us
: to be kind and gentle with ourselves
: as we march forward in the midst of
: truth. I think you may also find it
: helpful to know when this fourth
: step is finished you will feel so
: wonderful.
: Good luck,
: Diana D
:

Message Thread:

The 4th Step and self-image - Marie 8/27/2006, 9:39 am
- Re: The 4th Step and self-image - timbewolfe 9/30/2006, 11:30 am
  - Re: The 4th Step and self-image - Marie 10/14/2006, 10:44 pm
- Re: The 4th Step and self-image - Brenda 9/22/2006, 2:29 pm
- Re: The 4th Step and self-image - Diana D 9/14/2006, 3:51 pm
  - Re: The 4th Step and self-image - Marie 9/16/2006, 10:28 am
- Re: The 4th Step and self-image - Patt 8/30/2006, 4:59 pm
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--Previous Message-- : Hi Diana, : Thanks so much for your : response... : I did go through the 4th step with : my sponsor, once upon a time... I : did see that one of my faults is : that I hold myself to unreasonable : standards that I would never subject : anyone else to, and I judge myself : far more harshly than is reasonable, : far more harshly than I would ever : judge anyone else. I knew the main : person I needed to make amends to : was myself. But this realization, : along with my other very real : failings : and character defects, just : solidified my poor opinion of : myself. I : know this step can be an awakening : for some, but for me it just became : a : part of the downward spiral... : : I have just realized (well!) that : although I "officially" : moved on, I : never really got out of the 4th : step. What a long, dark journey it : has : been... holding people at arms : length, believing terrible things : about : myself, hiding, wasting my life. I : am slowly accepting that to survive : I need to let go and make amends to : myself. I'm holding on to the fact : that I am making progress, as : painful as it is. I'm starting to : learn : how to replace the food with actual : people, I'm starting to reach out. : I'm getting strong enough to have : hope, and to persist in having the : hope, that I just might get beyond : this point. : : It's good not to feel so alone - : thank you. : I thank all of you! : M : : : --Previous Message-- : Dear Marie, : I am very sorry you have had to : struggle with the challanges of : depression. Howeverk it is possible : to get through this Fourth Step. The : first thing I suggest you do is : realize that the only reason we hurt : others and mistakes is because we : ourselves our damaged. You must : realize and emphasize to yourself : you are going forward on the steps : to recovery and healing. You should : be proud of yourself for doing this. : It is also important for you realize : how important it is for each of us : to be kind and gentle with ourselves : as we march forward in the midst of : truth. I think you may also find it : helpful to know when this fourth : step is finished you will feel so : wonderful. : Good luck, : Diana D : : :

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